A Watcher's Slayer
by DragonKatGal
Summary: *Complete* Giles is back in England, but something's making Buffy sick. Will the Gang work out what's causing it and how to fix it? B/G
1. Good

A Watcher's Slayer

SETTINGS: After 'Tabula Rasa'.  Giles is gone.  Probably about two months later.  The timing is sooo off for Angel, I fully forgot to account for the 'seven weeks later thing' until I was sixty pages in.  And seeing as I'm _really_ lazy, it's set after the episode 'Billy' even though it should probably be about two eps after that.

DISCLAIMER: Not the prefix 'dis' and you'll quickly realise that these characters aren't mine.

RATING: PG-13 (as always)

PAIRING: B/G

ONWARDS:

CHAPTER ONE: GOOD

He'd been gone for seven weeks now.  She hated that he wasn't there, but to some extent, she knew that he had been right.  She laughed a little.  She never would have thought that she, Buffy Summers, would ever think that Rupert Giles had been right to leave her alone.  While she had hated and resented him, it had definitely made her grow up.

She missed him with a longing that she hadn't known previously existed, she knew that was for sure.  There was a certain ache within her that hurt every time she heard his name from one of the Gang.  She hadn't spoken to him since he had left, though she had written him a plethora of letters that she knew she would never send.  She knew that sending them would only make things worse, and at least writing the letters allowed her to vent about her feelings.

In all honesty, his leaving had been good for her.  She had realised that she was being a horrible sister to Dawn and a terrible friend to the Scoobies.  So, she had changed her attitude to life, and even though her life still wasn't exactly ideal, it was better than it had been when she had been allowing herself to wallow in her misery.

She had realised that she did have feelings after all, which was definitely of the good.  She loved the warm fuzziness that came over her whenever she and her sister hung out, and although she didn't enjoy the uncomfortable way her stomach would flip-flop when Giles was mentioned, she knew it was still a good thing.  She loved him and she wanted him back in Sunnydale.  She just knew that it probably wouldn't happen.  That thought alone could put her into post-resurrection depression and she generally tried not to dwell on it.

She had spoken to Spike and told him that they could never be together.  He had taken it badly of course, but eventually he had backed off.  It had taken him nearly four weeks to stop pestering her about it, but once he realised that she refused to talk to him while he was being a bastard, he quickly dropped the constant innuendoes and settled on being her friend.

Dawn was doing far better in school, and Buffy had been forced to go to a Parent/Teacher conference, which had sounded far scarier than it had actually been.  Dawn's teachers had been incredibly nice and had praised Dawn's good grades.  Buffy couldn't have been prouder.

Willow and Tara were still on a break, though they had started to get back into their relationship, taking things slowly and just having coffee at least three times a week.  Buffy joined them whenever she didn't have to work.

Buffy had been given a job at the gallery her mother had worked at.  She'd been walking past it when Mr Morrison, one of her mom's employees, had recognised her and invited her in for a cup of coffee and a chat.  Buffy, being too kind-hearted to turn down the elderly gentleman, had accepted.  An hour into the conversation, which she had found to be rather enjoyable, he had offered her a job.  She'd been astounded but had quickly accepted and was now helping Mr Morrison in cataloguing the artefacts that came through the museum.  She had found that Giles influence on her studying ancient relics had certainly helped, and with a little encouragement from the museum staff, she had taken to helping translate many of the ancient books.  

Without even knowing it, Buffy had found herself learning an entirely new language, one that she was becoming more than proficient with.  Giles would have been so proud.

She loved working there, and when Mr Jackson, Mr Morrison's right hand man, had announced his retirement, Buffy had jumped at the chance to become the junior curator at the museum.  She had grinned when Dawn had questioned whether it was her mom's influence or Giles' or both.  All she knew was, she had a job that she loved and a sister that she adored.  Her life was good.

(You can just tell something bad is gonna happen, can't you?)


	2. Collapse

CHAPTER TWO: COLLAPSE

It was an ordinary Tuesday at the gallery.  Mr Morrison had left her in charge of the newest set of books to be translated with a team of two other people.  The first time they had met Buffy, they had been a little more than dubious about her work ethic and her abilities.  Once she had begun instructing the group on what she wanted them to be doing and the time frame in which to do it, they had been dumbstruck to find that not only did she know what she was doing, but she was damn good at it as well.

The two other translators were a man and a woman, making the team an uneven three that Mr Morrison believed to be the best team the museum had ever seen.  

Samuel Peters was twenty-eight and had fallen for the tiny blonde girl.  His eyes tended to follow her throughout the gallery, a fact that Buffy found a little disturbing at first, but had come to appreciate the attention.  She'd told him in no uncertain terms that she was in love with someone else, but this did nothing to deter Samuel's constant flirting.  They were lunch buddies, even though Buffy didn't want any more than friendship from him.  

Luisa Yabson was twenty-three and had been working at the gallery for Buffy's mom before Joyce had passed away.  She always had a kind word about everyone and had taken the young assistant curator under her wing immediately.  

And so, it was the three of them against the world, or so they liked to say.  An oddly mingled group that worked well together and had learned that first appearances didn't always reflect the person.  Buffy had first thought the other two to be stuffy people with nothing better to do that translate ancient texts.  She had been proven wrong when she realised that both of them did it for the same reasons she did.  The money.  After that, they had found that they enjoyed working out what the ancient languages meant.  Like some sort of an advanced jigsaw puzzle that needed to be worked out.

"Can you pass me the Luminosa text?" Samuel asked, not bothering to even look up.  He merely held out his hand and waited for the book to be given to him.  Buffy handed him the text without comment and grinned as her colleague continued working as though he hadn't said anything.

"Did Morrison say when the Archivist book was getting here?" Luisa asked quietly.

"Thursday," came the absent reply from Buffy.

Luisa looked up at her young friend and smiled a little as she saw that Buffy too hadn't had to look up from her work.

They made an odd team.  The tiny young blonde girl, the six-foot tall brunette man and the average sized brunette woman seated at a well-lit table in the offices of the museum.

A knock came at the door, the three of them barely noticing.  A young intern crept into the room, almost afraid to disturb the solemn air that the room had to it.  She touched Buffy's shoulder slightly, making the Slayer jump a little and whirl in her seat, her fist ready to strike.

The intern jumped backwards, her heart in her throat as she saw Buffy ready to pounce into battle.  Buffy immediately relaxed her hand as she saw the young woman standing behind her.

"What can we do for you Margaret?" she asked quietly, not wanting to disrupt Samuel and Luisa.

"There's a young woman here to see you," Margaret replied quietly.

Margaret was young, only nineteen, and in her second week, and the young curator scared her tremendously, even though she had no idea why.  Possibly the fact that Buffy was so smart, or seemed to be.  Buffy smiled and stood up, passing her gaze over her two workmates who had barely looked up.  She shook her head, wondering how it was possible that they were all able to get so lost in the worlds of ancient text.

She followed Margaret through the labyrinth of hallways and out into the main foyer.  She grinned widely as she saw her red-headed friend standing with her back to the offices, staring at a medieval suit of armour.

"Hey Wills," Buffy greeted, creeping up beside her friend, smiling as she saw Willow jump a little at the sound of Buffy's voice.

Willow grinned and engulfed Buffy in a tight hug.  "Hey Buffy.  Wanna grab some lunch?"

Buffy quickly checked her watch and nodded, feeling the effects of her hunger now that it had been mentioned.  

"I was thinking we could swing by the site, pick up Xander," Willow suggested.

"Sounds good.  What about Tara and Anya?" Buffy asked.

Willow scrunched up her nose and shook her head.  "Just the core Scoobies today I think.  We haven't been just the three of us in a while."

Buffy nodded, somewhat grateful that it would just be the original three. As much as she loved Anya and Tara, she had often felt that it would be nice to not have to be the fifth wheel.

Xander was free and excited about the idea of a core Scooby lunchtime outing.  With a quick stop at a Chinese take-away store, they had settled themselves onto a grassy patch in the Sunnydale park, far enough away from the swings that they couldn't hear kids squeals and away from the parents so that if need be, they could slay any demons that decided to crash the picnic.

"So, when's the big day Xand?" Buffy asked.  "Have you guys decided yet?"

Xander rolled his eyes as he bit into a spring roll.  "Anya still wants to have it on a Wednesday, but I keep telling her that no one will be able to make it unless it's on a weekend.  Scept, she doesn't want it on a Sunday, cos it's too religious for her, and she doesn't want it on a Saturday cos the Magic Box always does really well."

"You could have it at night," Willow suggested, not for the first time.

"Try telling that to Anya.  She doesn't want it to get crashed by bloodsucking fiends.  And yet she invited Spike," Xander said, the disgust evident in his voice.

Buffy rolled her eyes, knowing that as much as Xander protested about his liking Spike, the two of them did get along fairly well.  And now that Spike wasn't making any romantic overtures towards Buffy, Spike had seemed to fit into the group a little bit better.

"You guys should just elope."

Xander's eyes lit up at Buffy's idea, but his shoulders slumped down once more.  "I already suggested that to her and got yelled at.  I remember liking the idea though."

Buffy grinned and suddenly stopped, her hand going to her stomach.  Xander and Willow looked at her concerned.  Buffy had been extremely cautious lately about guarding her feelings in front of the pair of them, so they weren't used to the suddenly worried look that crossed the Slayer's face.

"You alright Buff?" Xander asked, carefully touching Buffy's forehead.  He could feel that she was a little warm, but not overly so.

"Yeah…yeah, I'm okay.  Probably just the chicken," she said, pointing at the half empty box of honey chicken that lay in front of her.

Willow and Xander exchanged uncertain looks, but let it drop.  Buffy seemed to bounce back from it, and they continued eating.

With their take-out boxes empty and their stomachs full, they stood in unison, Xander and Willow brushing off stray strands of grass and pieces of dirt while Buffy touched her head, wondering why she was dizzy all of a sudden.  Her legs buckled and Xander caught her quickly before she could reach the ground.  He lowered her gently so that she could kneel on the grass.

"You don't look so good," Willow commented, kneeling beside her friend, checking her temperature much as Xander had done earlier.

Buffy brushed off Willow's hand.  "I'm fine guys, I just…maybe I just got up too fast."

"Buffy, you're burning up," Willow commented.

Buffy tried to stand once more, but couldn't make it.  Xander caught her as she passed out.

Willow shrieked a little and took in her unconscious friends form.

"This isn't good," she stated quietly.

Xander shifted Buffy so that he could hold her in his arms.  "Home or hospital?"

Willow weighed up each option.  She could remember how scared Buffy had been the last time she'd been in hospital.  And it was possible that she had just eaten something that had disagreed with her.  

"Home I think.  We…we may need to look into stuff in case it's mystical.  I mean…she was fine at the beginning of lunch," Willow said.

Xander nodded and they took off towards the Summer's house quickly, ignoring the strange looks they got from strangers.  Most of the people in Sunnydale knew who Buffy was, though most of them didn't really know her name.  They knew her as their mysterious saviour, and most, if not all, could recognise her by sight alone, so when their blonde hero was being carried across town, they began to get worried.

Willow opened up the door to the Summers house and ushered Xander inside.  He quickly took her up the stairs and into her room, passing Willow and Tara's shared bedroom as he did.  Tara looked up when she heard the noise and quickly jumped off the bed as she saw the blonde girl cradled in Xander's arms.

"What h-happened?"

Xander laid the girl on her bed as Willow walked into the room holding a wet wash-cloth.

"She collapsed after we'd had lunch," Xander explained.  "She was fine one second and then…bang.  Buffy unconscious."

Tara looked at her girlfriend worriedly, silently questioning what could be wrong with the Slayer.  

"Magical, do you think?"

Willow looked up at the question, her hand still dobbing Buffy's forehead gently.

"Not sure.  It could be, but…I don't know what sort of spell could work that quickly on her.  She's the Slayer so…she's got a natural immunity to a lot of things."

Xander's eyes narrowed momentarily, and Willow caught the shadow that passed across his face.

"Xan?"

Xander looked up, his eyes still narrowed dangerously.

"It's her birthday in three days," he said.

"Why is that worrying?" Tara asked.

Willow too looked stricken.  "The Council wouldn't have done anything to her.  Not again.  Besides, how could they get close enough to do it?"

"Maybe they d-don't need to be close to her to do whatever they did.  It could be a s-spell," Tara suggested.

She could recall Willow explaining the test that the Council had given to Buffy on her eighteenth birthday.  She had been outraged when she had heard that the Council had done something so dangerous to the Slayer.  She had been even more shocked when she had heard that it was Giles who had administered the test to her.  She couldn't imagine Giles voluntarily putting Buffy in danger.

"Maybe we should call Giles, ask him if he knows anything about a test that the Council does for a Slayer's twenty-first birthday," Xander suggested.

Willow nodded and glanced at her watch.  "We may have to wait a while to call him.  He's probably gone out, remember?  It _is_ a Friday night in England."

Xander scowled a little and nodded.  He really wished that Giles had stuck around in Sunnydale.  He had hated that Giles had just taken off.  The timing of it had been horrible, especially considering that Buffy had finally admitted to why she couldn't stand being around her friends.  

"Should we start researching?" Tara asked.

Willow nodded, keeping an eye on Buffy.  She was pale and shaking, sweat pouring off her forehead even as her body shivered.  

"Start by looking at the Watcher's diaries.  Giles left them here in case we needed them, so they're still at the store.  Not the originals of course, they're at the Council, but, the copies, we've got a set.  Oh…and maybe we should have a look at the codex.  And maybe at-"

"Why don't you go Willow," Tara suggested.  "I can stay here."

Willow smiled gratefully and handed over the washcloth.  "Thank you.  You'll call if there's any change?"

Tara nodded and watched as Xander and Willow raced out of the house and towards the Magic Box.

Tara sighed and gently wiped at Buffy's forehead.

"It's never dull around here Buffy," she whispered quietly.


	3. Visions

CHAPTER THREE: VISIONS

(Set after the ep 'Billy'.  See note in chapter one about Kat's stupidity about the time-line error)

Cordelia Chase was annoyed.  More than annoyed really.  She was furious.  It had been five days since all of the AI guys had turned into complete psychos because of Billy, and Wesley still hadn't returned to the office.  She had heard the story from Fred about what Wesley had said and done to her, and, honestly she couldn't blame Wesley for feeling sorry for himself, but enough was enough.

She knocked forcefully on the door to Wes's apartment and heard shuffling from the inside.  As soon as the door opened, she pushed her way inside, leaving a startled Wesley standing in the doorway.

"Cordy…now's really not-"

"No Wes," Cordy said forcefully, spinning around to look at him.  "Now is the time to do this.  You've been gone for five days.  I get that you needed time to heal or whatever, but…this is getting ridiculous.  Fred doesn't blame you.  It's _not_ your fault."

Wes shook his head and dejectedly took a seat on the couch.  He ran tired hands over his face, noticing that he hadn't shaved for a few days.

"I attacked her Cordy. I hit her and basically told her that I wanted to…to rape her.  And the only reason that I didn't is because she managed to knock me unconscious," Wes admitted sadly.

Cordy sat beside him a put a hand on his knee.  He tried to shake it off, but she held onto him firmly.

"It's no different to what Gunn tried to do to her.  And she's forgiven you both.  She knows that it wasn't you.  She understands Wes.  You just…you have to forgive yourself," she said softly.

"And if I can't?" he asked quietly.

"Wes, you are one of the greatest guys I've ever known.  Yeah, you were affected by some seriously powerful magick, but it wasn't your fault.  You couldn't have stopped it even if you had tried," she explained gently.

He shook his head, unconvinced.

"Wes," she said firmly, grabbing both of his hands in hers and staring him in the eyes.  "Do you _want_ to hurt Fred?"

He looked completely shocked and disgusted at the idea.  "Of course not!"

"Then there's your answer.  Wes, it wasn't you.  It wasn't you that attacked her.  She understands that."

Wesley shut his eyes, wishing that he could believe her.  Cordy stood up suddenly and pulled on Wesley's hands, bringing him to stand up as well.

"Come on," she said, pulling him towards the doorway.

"What?  Where are we…where are we going?" 

"To Fred's."

Wesley tried to stop but Cordy was determined.

"No, Cordy, I can't," he protested.

"Yeah, you can.  Come on."

She managed to drag him into the hall, and as he went to protest again, Cordy grabbed her head, a vision hitting her painfully.  She stumbled but Wesley caught her before she could tumble to the ground.  He held her as the vision continued, trying to keep her standing even as Cordelia's body tried to drag them to the floor.

The vision stopped abruptly and Wesley waited until she had calmed herself.  She looked up at him and he was taken aback as he saw tears in the girl's eyes.

"What is it?" he asked quietly.  "What did you see?"

She sniffled and wiped at her eyes.    
 

"Change of plans.  We've got to get to Sunnydale."

Wesley's eyes widened in shock.  Sunnydale.  That didn't sound at all good.

"Is it Buffy?  Is she in trouble?" he asked gently.

Cordy looked up at him with wide fear-filled eyes.  "She's dying."

(*insert dramatic music here*)


	4. Research

CHAPTER FOUR: RESEARCH

"We don't even know what we're looking for Will," Xander complained loudly as he flipped through his fourth book.  

Willow looked up at him and glared.  She hated that she had no idea what was happening to her best friend, and if research could help her, then she would research.  Anya was serving customers and helping them when she had a quiet moment.  Willow was a little surprised when Anya had volunteered to help them research.  

Willow did, however, remember how withdrawn the ex-demon had been after Buffy's death.  She could also recall how distressed Anya had been when Buffy's mom had passed away.  Willow could see that for all of Anya's tactlessness and bravado about not really caring for anyone besides Xander, the ex-demon did truly care about each of the Scoobies.

"Just keep looking.  See if any of the Watcher's describe her symptoms," Willow said calmly.  She felt anything but calm though.  It was like losing Buffy all over again.  Things had finally become better for the blonde Slayer, and it wasn't fair for her to be subjected to even more suffering.

Xander went back to looking through the diaries.  He hadn't found anything even remotely referring to Buffy's illness, and especially not within the timeframe that they thought it was.  They were assuming that it was some sort of a Council ritual, but they were only really speculating about it.

The bell above the door rang as someone waled in, the noise making both Willow and Xander look up.  Dawn walked towards them, a grin on her face as she unshouldered her backpack.

"Hey guys.  What are we researching?" 

Dawn had slowly become integrated into the slaying part of the Scoobies and she couldn't have been more excited about it if she tried.  Buffy had put her on strict rules about the research however.  She was only allowed to help after she had finished her homework, which gave Dawn a huge incentive to keep up with her schoolwork.  Not only was she now topping her class at school, but she was included in her sister's life of slaying as well.  

Xander and Willow exchanged worried glances which made Dawn's smile falter.  "What?  What is it?  Where's Buffy?"

Willow looked at Dawn, attempting to give her a comforting look, which only made Dawn worry even more.

"What?  Buffy's okay right?" she asked.

Willow swallowed hard.  "She uh…she collapsed in the park.  Just after we'd had lunch."

Dawn looked stricken at the thought of it.  "But she's okay right?  I mean…it's serious, but she's okay?"

Xander stood up and quickly engulfed the young girl in a hug.  She pushed him away and focussed again on the redheaded witch.  "Where is she?"

"She's at home.  Tara's taking care of her."

"Do you know what's wrong with her?  I mean…why'd she collapse?  Buffy doesn't just collapse," Dawn said.  The panic was making her ramble, but she was too worried to care.

"We're looking into it Dawnie," Willow assured her.  

Dawn nodded, swallowing hard.  She had only just got her sister back and happy again. It wasn't fair.  She grabbed her backpack that she had thrown on the counter and walked out of the store, not even bothering to explain where she was going.  It was fairly obvious to Willow and Xander where she had gone so they chose not to worry.

"Poor kid," Xander muttered.

Willow threw her best friend a sympathetic smile.  It really wasn't fair.

Dawn ran all the way home.  By the time she reached the front door she was sweating terribly and panting even more, but she didn't care.  Her sister was sick and she could very well need help.  She opened the door and raced up the stairs, rushing into Buffy's room and stopping short as she saw her sister lying on the bed.

Her sister's skin was flushed, and even though Buffy's eyes were open, they were unfocused and glazed over.  Tara looked up at the intrusion and gave the girl a small smile.  Dawn crept towards the bed and looked down at her sister.  It always amazed her how small Buffy looked, but now it was even more distinct.

"Is she okay?" Dawn whispered.

"She's pretty out of it.  She only just opened her eyes.  She was asking for you though," Tara replied.

Dawn knelt beside her sister's bed and smoothed Buffy's hair away from her face.

"Hey Buffy, it's Dawn.  I'm here, okay?" she whispered.  "We're gonna take care of you."

Buffy managed a small smile at her sister.  Dawn took Buffy's hand and squeezed it gently.  Even though her sister was endowed with super-strength, Dawn had no idea how fragile her sister was at that moment.  Buffy managed to squeeze back weakly.

Tara touched Dawn's shoulder gently.  "Sit with her for a bit?  I'm gonna call Wills and tell her she's awake."

Dawn nodded but kept her eyes on her sister's face.  


	5. Relocating

CHAPTER FIVE: RELOCATING

Willow hung up the phone and looked towards Xander.

"That was Tara.  She said that Buffy just woke up," Willow said.

Xander nodded silently.  Willow began packing up the books and piling them on top of each other.

"We relocating?"

"Yup.  We're going to Buffy's house.  Just in case we need to be close to her for something," Willow said.

Xander heard the implications behind it.  Willow wanted to be near Buffy in case the Slayer didn't make it through this.  

Anya looked up when she saw Xander and Willow begin to stow the Watcher's diaries into a large crate to carry them.  She looked torn for a moment before she decisively locked the cash register and walked to the table, grabbing a pile of books for herself.

"I'll lock up early."

Xander grinned at his fiancée, grateful that she was becoming more integrated into the group.

Five minutes later they were walking down the street towards the Summers' household, each of them carrying more books than they would have thought was possible to carry.  Willow was tempted to use magic to make the books a lighter load, but she could remember the repercussions of her last spell.  She and Tara were only just getting back on track with each other, and she wasn't going to risk her relationship for something so foolish.

------------------------

Wesley drove quickly through the streets of Sunnydale towards the Summers' residence.  Cordy had finally chosen a radio station that she deemed suitable, and they were travelling in relatively comfortable silence.

Cordy had phoned Angel to inform them that she and Wesley were getting away for a little while.  Wesley had wanted to inform Angel that Buffy was in trouble, but Cordy had strictly told Wes not to tell Angel anything.  She hadn't seem him in the vision and she knew that if Angel went, it would only cause trouble.  There was nothing that Angel could do for the young Slayer anyway.

Cordy sighed, thankful that the trip was almost over.  She glanced out the window casually and did a double take as she saw a familiar group of faces.

"Stop the car!" 

Wesley brought the car to a screeching halt, worried by Cordy's sudden demand.  He looked to her to see if she was having a vision of if she'd seen Buffy in trouble, but she was calmly pointing to the trio that walked down the street carrying multiple crates.

"Cordy, do try and not give me heart attacks in the future," he said tiredly.

She had the grace to look sheepish.  Wesley drove up to where the group was as Cordy wound down her window.

"Hey strangers.  Know where we can find a good hotel around here?" she called out the window.

Willow and Xander looked at the ex-Sunnydale girl with shock and simultaneously cried out her name in shock and excitement.  Cordy grinned and waved at them, removing her sunglasses so they could get a better look at her.

"Wow, what are you doing here?  And Wes?  It's so good to see you," Willow gushed.

Wesley smiled gently at the young Wiccan.  

"It's nice to see you again as well.  I just wish it could be under better circumstances," Wesley said.

Cordy rolled her eyes at the formality of the British man's speech.  She couldn't fault him for being a little nervous about being back in Sunnydale though.  Apart from being at Buffy's funeral, the only time Wesley had been in Sunnydale, he had made a complete fool out of himself.

Willow looked at the ex-Watcher curiously.  "Why are you here?"

Wesley went to stutter through an explanation, not entirely certain how to try and explain that Buffy was in danger, seeing as he didn't have all the facts.  Cordy's eyes once again rolled skywards.

"I had a vision.  Buffy's…she's pretty sick," Cordy explained.

Willow's smile vanished as she recalled her sick friend lying cold and pale on a bed at home.

"We know.  We've been researching for hours, but we still haven't found anything," Willow explained.

Cordy reached back and unlocked the door behind her.  "Come on, we'll give you a ride to Buffy's house.  It'll be quicker."

The three of them loaded themselves into the car, resting the heavy crates on their protesting legs.  They were grateful for the ride however, making the twenty minute walk a four minute drive.

When they reached the Summers house and managed to get out of Wesley's four-wheel drive, they were met with a heart-wrenching scream coming from inside the house.  With only a second of hesitation to look at each other in fear, the five of them were racing towards the house.


	6. Latin

CHAPTER SIX: LATIN

Xander reached Buffy's room first, shocked to see Dawn and Tara trying to hold down a flailing Slayer.  He gently pushed his way past the young girl and sat on Buffy's bed, forcefully holding down Buffy's shoulders.

He tried to speak to her calmly, but the Slayer could only thrash and moan, screaming wordlessly.  The rest of the group finally made their way into the room, each of them staring uncomfortably at the sight that met their eyes.

"Oh my god." "Good lord." "Buffy." "That can't be good."

The shocked whispers came from each of the people standing stock-still in the doorway.  They entered cautiously and hovered around the bed. 

Cordy leaned towards Wesley.  "I saw this.  In my vision."

"Did you see how to stop it?" he asked gently.

She shook her head, tears in her eyes once more.  She could still recall the pain of the vision.  Not the mind-numbing, bone-crushing pain that always came with the visions, but Buffy's pain of the experience.  She could feel the pain and fear and sadness and defeat that the Slayer was feeling.  She had never known anything to feel like that before.

"She's burning up," Xander managed to get out, even as he held her down.  Willow raced to the bathroom to get another wash-cloth, the first one too stained with the Slayer's sweat to be useful.

Wesley stepped forward cautiously and placed a gentle hand on the Slayer's forehead.  Buffy stilled instantaneously.  Willow raced back into the room shocked to see that Buffy was calm.

The room looked on in shocked silence.

Dawn looked at Wesley with something akin to awe in her eyes.  "How did you do that?"

Wesley removed his hand and looked at his palm as though the answers were written on it.  He found nothing different from usual.

Buffy moaned in pain and opened her eyes.

"Giles?"

Her voice was weak, hoarse from the screams that had been tearing at her throat only moments ago.  Tara's heart broke at the desperation that went into that one word.  Buffy's hand groped blindly and found Wesley's, squeezing it tightly, though Wesley was shocked to realise the squeeze hadn't hurt.

"You came…I knew…"

Wesley looked at the girl nervously.  He glanced around the room in confusion.

"Where is Mr Giles?" he asked quietly.

Willow, Tara, Xander, Anya and Dawn shifted uncomfortably.  Wesley looked at Cordy who just shrugged in confusion.

"Did something happen to him?" Wesley asked.

Dawn scowled and shook her head.  "He went back to England."

Wesley and Cordy's eyes widened in shock.  Neither of them had been expecting that answer.

"He left?  Wow.  Why?  I always thought he'd never leave," Cordy said.

Willow gave a weak smile.  "That's what we all thought but…he left so that Buffy could…uh…deal with stuff."

Xander snorted in disgust.  "Yeah.  Leave the poor girl all alone so she can try and deal with being ripped out of heaven.  Like that's gonna happen."

Cordy almost fainted on the spot.  That was the pain she had felt from Buffy.  That was the feeling of defeat that she had got from the tiny Slayer.  She swallowed hard.  She'd never felt that much misery coming from any of the other visions she'd had.  There was always fear and terror, but never such sadness, such sorrow and anger and defeat.  She'd wept because of it.

"Heaven?" Wesley repeated quietly.  He looked down at the blonde girl clutching his hand desperately.  She was muttering soft words incoherently, the only words he recognised was Giles name over and over again.

He knelt down beside the girl, straining to hear what she was saying.

"Auxilio ab alto, in omnia paratus."

Dawn too strained to hear.  She scrunched up her nose in confusion.  "Is that even English?"

Wesley shook his head in consternation.  "She's speaking in Latin.  Do…do you have a pen?"

Willow quickly retrieved a pen from Buffy's desk, handing it to Wesley with a piece of paper.  He listened again to the mutterings of the Slayer, always the same phrase.  He wrote the words and stared at them in confusion.

"What is it?" Cordy asked.  "What does it mean?"

"_By aid from on high, prepared for all things_," Wesley said quietly.  "It's the motto for the Watcher's Council.  It's…part of the oath that Watcher's take before they are given over to a Slayer."

"Ad infinitum, semper paratus," Buffy muttered. 

"_Without limit always prepared_," Wesley translated.

Dawn looked worriedly at her sister.  It wasn't everyday that her sister began spouting off Latin phrases while fighting a fever of 105.

"Is she…is she saying that from m-memory?" Tara asked nervously.

Wesley shook his head.  "I'd say not.  It's not often that a Slayer even hears the oath, let alone learns it.  Especially not in the original Latin.  And for her to be spouting it now…I'd fathom a guess that this will point us in the right direction."

"Well, it's obviously Slayer related," Dawn pointed out.  "I mean, she was going nuts until Wesley touched her, and…well, you're a Watcher.  Or…you were at least.  And now she's channelling her inner-Giles or whatever that was."

Xander looked towards Wesley, his suspicion written clearly on his face.

"This isn't some sick test from the Watcher's Council is it?"

Wesley shook his head.  "The Cruciamentum is the only test that the Council makes the Slayer go through.  No this is…something entirely different."

"We've checked out so many Watcher's Diaries that it's not funny.  There's _nothing in them," Willow complained.  _

Wesley scratched his head thoughtfully.  "I've never heard of anything like this before.  At least, not in the Diaries.  Uh…have you contacted Mr Giles?  Asked him about it?  It's quite possible he would know."

Willow again looked at her watch.  "What's the time difference?"

Wesley checked his own watch.  "You should be right to call him.  No doubt he'd wish to know about this sort of thing any way."

Willow nodded and left the room again, an eerie silence descending over the small space even though there were so many people there.


	7. More Research

CHAPTER SEVEN: MORE RESEARCH

Willow dejectedly came back up the stairs and went into Buffy's bedroom once more, surprised to see everyone still standing there, listening to the Latin phrases coming from Buffy's lips.  Willow had to admit it was a little disconcerting to hear her best friend reciting Latin, especially when there was a good chance that Buffy was in a lot of danger because of it.

"He's not home," Willow told the room despondently.  

Everyone's faces seemed to fall as one.  

Tara sighed and looked towards Willow who looked worried as she gazed at the blonde Slayer on the bed.

"M-maybe we should start re-researching again," she suggested quietly.

Willow nodded, as did Dawn, anguish to help her sister however she could.  Xander and Anya moved as one towards the door.  Xander took out a handful of books and placed them beside Wesley's chair.

"You should probably stay here man.  You're about the only one who's keeping her calm." 

They left Cordy and Wesley with Buffy.  Cordy put a gentle hand on the British man's shoulder.

"Call if you need any help, okay?"

Wesley nodded and picked up one of the books Xander had left.  For a brief second, his thoughts flashed back to LA.  He hadn't had a single thought about harming Fred since he had heard Cordy tell him that Buffy was dying.  Amazing what a little distraction will do to you.

------------------------

For five hours straight, the Gang researched.  Pizza's were ordered and delivered, the group was fed and their breaks consisted of five minute intervals with the Slayer who was still muttering under her breath.  It was always the same Latin phrases or a whimpering of her Watcher's name.  Wesley had quickly drowned out the sound, but whenever he heard Giles name called, he felt his heart breaking for the young girl.  

He couldn't understand why Giles could possibly leave her when she so desperately needed him there.  He had heard from Angel that the young Slayer had been in hell, but apparently Angel had been misinformed.  He wondered whether Buffy had lied outright to her former lover or if Angel had merely presumed that she had been suffering.  It was far easier to accept Buffy's third chance at life if one thought that she had been suffering.  But to try and come to terms with the fact that the girl had been in heaven was almost too much for the ex-Watcher.  It seemed interminably cruel.

He was disturbed from his reverie as he heard a thunderous roar of feet bounding up the stairs.  He looked up at the doorway expectantly.

"Did you find anything?" he asked.

Willow came in holding an open book and handed it over to Wesley to read.

He looked briefly at the cover, startled to be holding not a Watcher's diary, but a Slayer's.

"This is a Slayer's journal," he said quietly.  

Willow nodded and pointed to a passage in the centre of the page.  Wesley began reading aloud.

"_My lover, my husband, my Watcher is dead.  The pain of it is almost unbearable.  I feel as though my soul is being ripped out, piece by piece.  He's gone and I remain. It was I that was meant to die first.  I couldn't protect him.  I miss him with every inch of my being, every part that makes up who I am.  I cry out at night, desperately craving his touch.  My body aches for his, but I cannot reach him.  My heart feels broken, but I continue to slay.  The Council forbids me to take the time to grieve, and for this I hate them.  It has been nearly eight weeks and everything within me is screaming for him.  It hurts, oh the aching of my soul.  My stomach clenches at the thought of him."_

Wesley looked up at Willow.  "You believe that this has something to do with Buffy's illness?"

"Just keep reading."

Wesley sighed but went to comply with her wishes.  The passage seemed so intimate, that reading it aloud to the group seemed to almost dishonour the memory of it.

"_I went to the Council today, barely able to stand.  They could not explain what is happening to me, nor could they fix it.  They believe that I am merely missing Edward, and while that is true, it goes so much deeper than that.  I am not whole without him.  I can feel my soul crying to be with his.  Our bond was so pure, so good and true.  I fear what will happen if I let go, yet at the same time I wish to be free and to join him in eternity.  All the time, I can hear his gentle voice, whispering to me the oath he took as my Watcher.  Without limit always prepared.  He recited the Latin to me which I have been repeating to myself since his death.  I don't even know how I can remember it."_

"Good lord," Wesley said quietly.

"It looks like our disease," Willow said.

"Are there any other diaries like this?" he asked.

Xander wordlessly handed him another diary. 

"_For weeks, all I have heard in my mind is his voice, silently whispering words to me in Latin.  I've never heard them before but I know exactly what they mean.  Without limit always prepared.  I know he is with me.  Lord, how I miss him.  He's dead because of me, because of my calling.  I loved him with everything inside of me."_

"Skip down about four paragraphs," Xander said.

Wesley counted off the paragraphs and began reading again.

"_The voices have stopped.  I miss them, yet I am grateful at the same time.  I've been given a new Watcher, a female this time.  I think the Council feared that if I were given another male Watcher, I would fall for him as well.  I doubt that it would be possible to betray my heart, my soul, my everything.  I may have a new Watcher in name, but Nicholas will always be my true Watcher."_

Wesley stared at the pages, trying to make they link between these two girls and the Slayer in front of him.

"This doesn't exactly make sense," Wesley said.

Xander and Willow nodded their agreement.  "We know.  By the sounds of it, those girls were married to their Watchers," Willow said.

Cordy scrunched up her nose at the thought.  "Ew.  Gross."

Wesley gave her a withering look, feeling slightly offended.  He could remember the feelings he had had for Cordelia when he had first arrived in Sunnydale, and even though their kiss had been disastrous, he didn't feel as though he warranted that sort of a reaction from her.

"It wasn't that strange for Slayers and Watchers to be married," Anya said.  "I've seen about twelve Slayers over the years, and seven of them were married to their Watchers.  But, that was before the Council outlawed it."

Tara looked towards the ex-demon curiously.  "Why wouldn't the Council let them g-get married?"

Anya took a deep breath as she began her explanation.

"Well, Slayers don't generally live very long.  Some of them are lucky to make it to two years, let alone six.  And, a lot of the Watchers often killed themselves if their Slayer died in battle, which meant that the Council was losing two valuable assets.  Not to mention that the whole Watcher thing runs in bloodlines and…well, Slayers don't…well…they can't have children," Anya said. 

Willow and Xander both looked up at that.  "Can't?  Ahn?  What do you mean?"

Anya looked at her fiancée with sad eyes.  "They're warriors Xander.  They're built to fight, not to have children.  They…they can get pregnant, but…no Slayer has ever survived the pregnancy."

"They'd be killed in battle," Tara whispered quietly, looking at Buffy sadly.  

"That and…they can't handle childbirth.  Some of the babies they deliver do make it, but…most of the children die along with their mothers.  And, after that, the Watchers usually kill themselves as well," Anya explained.

Dawn looked pale.  "Does she…Buffy does know this, right?"

Willow regarded the young girl quietly, stepping forward to gather Dawn into her arms.

"Probably.  I think part of her knew she'd never get to have kids."

Cordy swallowed back even more tears.  Yes, Buffy knew.  The vision was beginning to make more sense.  She had felt the despair of Buffy's soul, calling out for its chosen partner, the father of children that her body couldn't ever bare. 

"How horrible," Tara whispered.

Xander hugged Anya to him tightly.  The thought of never being able to have children…it was frightening.  

"But…Buffy and Giles weren't married, so…why would she be getting sick like this?" Xander asked.

Cordy suddenly sat on the arm of Wesley's chair, her legs no longer able to hold her up.

"She was in love with him."


	8. Revelations

CHAPTER EIGHT: REVELATIONS

The room burst out with noise, seemingly endless statements of disbelief of "What?!" "Oh my god" "Since when?" "Why wouldn't she say anything?" "Does Giles know?" 

Wesley held up a hand and the room went quiet.  He was a little astounded by the fact that they had given him authority when the never previously had.  He supposed it had something to do with the fact that it was only his presence in the room that was keeping Buffy somewhat lucid.

"We don't know that for certain," he said quietly. 

Cordy shook her head and stood up, looking down at Buffy.  She ran a gentle hand over the Slayer's forehead, brushing back strands of hair.  Willow looked on in shock.  She'd never seen Cordy be so gentle with anyone, especially not Buffy.  There had always been badness between Cordy and the Slayer, and to see Cordy so sympathetic towards Buffy seemed incredibly strange.

"She loved him.  I felt it in my vision.  She…she's so sad without him," she whispered.

The room shuffled uncomfortably.  They had all noticed the way that Buffy flinched whenever Giles was mentioned.  They had all noticed the way that Buffy and Giles had looked at each other the first time they had reunited after Buffy's resurrection.  

Anya could have sworn that Giles looked as though he had wanted to kiss her when he had touched Buffy's face and called her a miracle.

"Of course she loves him, but…that doesn't mean she's _in_ love with him," Xander protested.

It seemed far too strange to him.  Giles was like a father to them all.  How could Buffy have fallen in love with him?  It was just…weird.

Tara stepped in shyly.  "It kinda m-makes sense though, doesn't it?  They h-have a destiny together.  Historically, the b-bond between a Slayer and her Watcher is…unbreakable."

"Unless the Watcher, oh say…_leaves_," Anya added angrily.  She regarded the Slayer, someone she considered a friend.  "If I still had my Powers, I'd be wreaking vengeance." 

Wesley ran a tired hand across his face.

"It still doesn't make sense.  I've always known that Buffy and Mr Giles had a close bond, closer than the Council usually allows, but…even though they were close, and even though she has feelings for him, there's no reason for her to be feeling the way these girls did when they lost their husbands.  I mean…I've heard myths of course, but…I'd never believed them to be true," Wesley said quietly, the last part more to himself than to the group.

Xander chuckled a little. "Huh…a Watcher not believing in myths.  I thought that was part of the whole gig."

  
Wesley looked up, trying to catch what the young man had said.

"Oh…well, there is an old wives tale about Watchers and Slayers marrying.  Mostly the Council tells of the affects on the Watchers, that they drive themselves mad once their Slayer dies.  The flip-side to it is that the Slayer will die as well if they lose their husbands.  The bond between them breaks at the point of death and takes about two months to completely disintegrate.  Legend has it that it's a rather excruciating time," Wesley explained.

"Well, as far as we know, they aren't married," Willow said quietly.  "And there's no way that Giles would have left if they were."

Tara looked towards Wesley, hesitant to ask this in front of the group.

"Did they have to be m-m-married for this sort of thing to happen?  Has any Slayer ever had this sort of a b-break-down even though she w-wasn't married?" Tara asked.

Wesley shook his head thoughtfully.  "Not since the 1800's, and all of those Slayers had married.  Like Anya said earlier, the Council no longer allowed marriages between Slayer and Watcher.  There was only one other couple who defied Council and had a relationship, which was in 1912, but both Slayer and Watcher died before they could be legally wed."

Willow regarded her lover curiously, wondering where Tara was going with her questions.  

"Tara?" 

Tara looked up at Willow.

"What if what's wrong with Buffy is the same as these other girls?  Exactly the same, I mean."

Cordy looked towards the hesitant blonde girl and cocked her head to the side thoughtfully.

"You think they were sleeping together."

Tara nodded and the room fell into silence.

Xander was the first to break it.  "No!  No way!  There's no way that Giles would leave if they'd slept together.  And if he did, he should know better than that."

Tara went bright red.  "It's j-j-just a theory."

Dawn stepped forward.  "It does make sense though.  That first diary said it was eight weeks, and…Giles left seven and a half weeks ago.  She's got all the symptoms, and I don't care how far she's come with learning Latin for the museum, there's no way she'd just start mumbling the Watcher's oath or whatever it is."

The group nodded thoughtfully at Dawn's explanation.  It _did_ make sense.  They just couldn't work out what could have happened to make Giles leave though.

"He still wouldn't have left," Willow pointed out.

"Unless it happened before she died," Anya added.

The group turned to look at her.  She went a little bit red under their scrutiny.

"I'm just saying…they were really cliquey before she died, and…there's always been some serious vibes between those two.  Not to mention all the sparring and stuff.  Talk about a way to work up sexual tension.  I'd be surprised if they weren't having orgasms together."

Wesley looked at the ex-demon, unable to believe that she'd just come out and said something so incredibly blunt like that.  The rest of the room didn't seem to be bothered by it.  Almost as though they were used to it.  He shrugged and considered her words, however distasteful they were.

"You could very well be right about the timeframe," Wesley said.  "What I don't understand however is what happened afterwards.  Why he left."

Willow's face fell sadly.  "What if he's not in love with her?  Oh how horrible."

"Or else he knew that if the Council discovered their relationship, he'd be replaced in a matter of seconds," Wesley said.  "Though, they aren't technically under Council jurisdiction anymore.  Not since Graduation."

"No, they're back in the Council," Xander corrected.  "Since last year about two months before she died.  They came here to 'test her methods' or some crap like that.  Buffy told 'em where to go and demanded that Giles be put back onto the Council at full pay as well as back pay.  It was so cool."

"Hmm," Wesley said thoughtfully.  "Then it's quite possible that they either started their affair just before or just after the incident with the Council.  My bet is the Council threatened to remove Mr Giles if anything happened between them."

Dawn looked at her now-sleeping sister thoughtfully.

"Wouldn't this sickness thingy have hit straight after?  I mean…if they stopped having sex, why wouldn't it have hit her two months later?" she asked.

"She was dead," Willow whispered.  "That's why Giles was so upset.  Their original bond broke as well as the new one.  But then she came back again."

"And as long as Buffy and Giles stayed within the same area, the bond would still be there.  Neither of them would have been terribly happy about no longer continuing a physical relationship, but there wouldn't be a reason for this type of reaction.  But there's a few thousand miles between them now, so she's no longer feeling the bond, which is what's making her ill," Wesley explained.

"Question?" Xander said, putting his hand up to gain everyone's attention.  "If Buffy's like this because of the link, does that mean Giles is as well?"

The Scoobies looked stricken at the thought.  The fact that he hadn't answered his phone any of the times they had tried to call him didn't sit well with any of them.  Wesley, however, quickly alleviated their fears.

"No, he wouldn't.  He'll be upset for certain, but…nothing like this.  A Watcher can live without a Slayer, though they never really like to.  A Slayer _can't_ go without her Watcher.  She's not meant to.  It's part of the magick of it all.  Her strength, her will to live, usually comes from the Watcher's themselves," Wesley said.  "We may have bought her a little more time with me being here, possibly another week, but only because of the oaths I've sworn.  If the Council were to hear of this, they would swear in a new Watcher for her."

Dawn didn't look happy about that idea.

"Buffy didn't trust anyone in the Council except you Giles and Merrick.  I spoke to her about this, she doesn't want a new Watcher," Dawn explained.   "We have to get him here.  If she just needs to be close to him, all he has to do is come home."

"Assuming we can get in contact with him," Wesley said.  

The group could only cross their fingers and pray that they would be in time to save their friend.


	9. England

CHAPTER NINE: ENGLAND

Rupert Giles sat at the counter of the local tavern, nursing a beer, savouring the taste.  It was one of the few good things about being back in England.  The beers here were far better than any American swill that he had tried in his six-year stay.  He took a large gulp, trying not to think about home.  _Home_.  That's what it was.  He'd lived in England for forty years and in California for six, but he knew that California would always be home to him.  Lord how he missed them.  He missed _her_.

He sometimes woke up in a cold sweat, dreaming that he'd left, that he'd walked away.  Then when he woke up properly, he'd realise that he had.  He still couldn't believe he'd left her.  He hated himself some days.  He hadn't spoken to her since he'd left, even though all he wanted to do was pick up the phone and call her, make certain she was alright.

Anya was keeping him informed, calling him once a week to keep him updated about the Magic Box.  He'd ask about the gang, and Anya would go through what everyone was up to, starting with Xander and ending with Buffy.  

He was so proud of his Slayer.  She seemed to be doing so much better, and part of him rejoiced that he had been right about her pulling her socks up once he had left.  It still seemed cruel though.  He should have stayed in Sunnydale, but pulled back from her.  Throwing her into the deep end of the pool with a suit of armour on hadn't been the best way to deal with it.  Shock therapy.  It had worked though.  So, why did he feel so miserable about it?

"Mind if I sit down?"

Giles looked to his right and held back a groan.  He had wondered when he would run into his old friend.

"Ethan," he greeted coolly.

Ethan scowled at Giles and sat down beside him, ordering a drink from the barman before turning his attention back to Giles.

"Good to see you back in the mother country mate," he said with a grin, patting Giles on the back hard just as he took another sip of his drink, causing Giles to almost choke on the liquid.

"Wish I could say the same to you," Giles replied.

"Is that anyway to greet an old friend, Ripper?  Especially one that's got some info you might be after," Ethan said.  His grin was a mile wide.  He loved having information that Giles didn't have.  Torturing the man was almost as fun as having Giles back at his side.

"What do you want Ethan?" Giles asked, his tolerance for the older man nearly shot.  He was tired and definitely not in the mood to be playing games.

"Just got some info for ya, like I said."

"I'm guessing that this information will come at a price," Giles said.

"Well guessed old chum," Ethan replied, still smiling.

Giles rolled his eyes and stood up, ready to leave.  Part of him really didn't care what Ethan had to tell him, while the other part was desperate to know.  It wasn't often that Ethan would come to him unless it was for something important.

"Hold on Ripp," Ethan said, grabbing Giles arm to stop him from leaving.  "You'll want to hear this.  Trust me."

"I wouldn't trust you if my life depended on it," he replied.

He yanked his arm free and went to walk out.

"What if it was your Slayer's life that depended on it?"

That stopped Giles short.  He turned around to see Ethan grinning like a Cheshire cat.  He walked back to the bar and sat down.

"I'm listening."

"Knew that would get yer attention."

"Just get on with it Ethan," Giles said, his voice low and threatening.

"Alright, alright," Ethan replied, holding his hands up as a signal of peace.  "Yer girl's sick, mate."

Giles heart leapt into his throat.  He knew he shouldn't be trusting Ethan at all, but hearing about his Slayer made him lose all reason.

"From what?"

"No one's exactly sure what causes the Slayers to go loco…they just do," Ethan said vaguely.

Giles looked at his old friend, his eyes narrowed.

"And why are you telling me this.  I thought you hated her," Giles said.

Ethan shrugged and gave a small grin.  "She's quite a looker mate."

Giles eyes flashed and he stood up before Ethan knew what was happening.  Giles hands were around Ethan's throat before Ethan could even move away from his old friend.

"Don't give me more of a reason to kill you."

He let go and Ethan grabbed at his throat to try and get the feeling back into it.  He swallowed hard a few times and sat back down, drinking the rest of his beer in a single gulp.

"Alright, alright, geez Ripp, calm down.  She's not a bad kid, she's got spunk.  That and…I saw what happened to you when she died.  It wasn't fun," Ethan said seriously.

Giles too could remember when he had first come back to England.  The first night he had drowned his sorrows in the same tavern.  Ethan had come in again and Giles had all but broken down and told Ethan everything.  He had restrained himself, but Ethan had guessed what had been wrong with him.  

"I'm telling you this cos none of those Council bastards are going to tell you.  They're in an uproar cos she's back," Ethan explained.

Giles gave a small laugh.  "They weren't too impressed when I told them what had happened."

"They never much liked you," Ethan said with a grin.  "Or her.  She was too much like you for their tastes."

"She was the first Slayer to quit the Council," Giles said proudly.  "Probably the only one to have had three chances at life as well."

"Point is," Ethan continued, "The Council's not about to tell you that you're girl has something pretty serious wrong with 'er.  If they let her go, they're solving two problems at once."

Giles looked at his old friend, surprised by the compassion in Ethan's voice.  It wasn't often that Ethan had anything other than contempt in his voice.  It was strangely eerie.

"What problems?  And what do you mean let her go?"

Ethan hesitated but decided to lay it down plainly.

"She's dying Ripp," he said softly.

Giles felt his world collapse around him.  He tried to stay calm but Ethan didn't miss the way his flushed cheeks paled and the way his green eyes flashed dangerously.

"And as much as I hate to admit this, cos I really don't feel like being strangled to death…it's your fault."

Giles swallowed hard, trying to process this information with as much dignity as was possible for a man who wanted to destroy everything in sight.

"What's wrong with her?" his voice was tight, small, almost impossible to hear over the din of noise from the rest of the patrons in the bar.

"You're not there, that's what's wrong," Ethan replied.

Giles sighed.  "I had to leave.  It was for her own good.  She knows that."

"She does know that Ripp.  Deep inside, she does know.  But that's not what's wrong.  She's not getting hurt on patrols or anything like that.  She's sick Rupes.  Physically sick," Ethan explained.

"How is it my fault then?"

Ethan slipped Giles a piece of paper with two names and two dates written down.

"Have a look at these girls diaries.  You'll work it out.  But, I'm telling you this for yer own good, cos the Council certainly ain't gonna tell you.  You need to go home.  If you want her to stay alive…you've gotta be there.  She's not gonna last the week without you there."

With that, Ethan stood up and left, leaving Giles staring at the slip of paper in his hand.  Leila Rado (1804-1805) and Sarah Jacob (1912-1914)

With a heavy heart, he stood up and walked outside, the cool night air hitting him and making him slightly more sober.  

For now, he had some reading to do.


	10. Lucid

CHAPTER TEN: LUCID

Wesley was still seated at her side, making certain that the young Slayer was comfortable.  Or as comfortable as someone could be when they had a fever of 105.

He heard the girl groan and immediately he put down his book, taking the girls hand without hesitating.  He knew enough about the girl on the bed to know that she was comforted through touch.

Buffy groaned in pain and turned her head, trying to swallow even though her throat was excruciatingly sore.  She squinted and Wesley saw the look of confusion on her face.

"Wes?" she managed to croak out.

Wesley leant forward and patted down Buffy's forehead with the wet wash-cloth.

"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly.

"I feel as though my soul is being ripped out, piece by piece," she said quietly.

Wesley's eyes narrowed.  He recognised the phrasing.  

"I can feel my soul crying out," she said, tears in her eyes.

Wesley managed a small encouraging smile. 

"He'll come back Buffy.  We're trying to contact him," he said.

She nodded and closed her eyes tiredly.  

Wesley looked up as he heard a quiet cough coming from the doorway.  Willow stood there looking worried.

"She just woke up," Wesley whispered.

Willow nodded and stepped forward, kneeling beside her best friends bed.

"Do you need anything?" she asked.

Buffy opened her eyes a little, the pain written there shocking Willow a little.  Had it always been there and Willow had merely never noticed it?

"Him," Buffy replied.

Willow shook back tears and smoothed a strand of Buffy's hair away from her face.  "He's coming, I swear it.  We won't let anything happen to you."

Buffy smiled gently.  "Miss him."

"I know," Willow said.

"Love him."

"He'll be back," she assured Buffy.

Wesley stood up and allowed Willow to take his seat.  "I'll be downstairs.  I feel the need for a cup of tea."

Willow smiled and watched as he left.  Buffy gave a tired grin.

"Some things don't change, huh?  Brits and their tea."   

Willow grinned and took hold of her friend's hand.  

"Why didn't you tell me Buffy?" Willow whispered sadly, not really expecting an answer.

Buffy sighed and closed her eyes.

"I didn't know, and then…the whole Glory thing came, and…then with the dying," Buffy said, trying to smile.

Willow nodded, understanding her friend's reluctance.

"But what about after?  I mean…you never said anything.  You never told me you guys had slept together." 

"Only once.  We had to stop.  The Council…they came.  They woulda killed him," she explained.

Willow rubbed Buffy's hand soothingly.

"You're in love with him aren't you?" she asked.

Buffy gave a tired smile and managed to nod.  "Yeah Wills.  I am."

"Did you tell him?" Willow asked.

"I never got a chance…before the dying.  And after…I couldn't…we couldn't," she said.  "I was…a wreak.  And then he left."

Willow felt tears build in her eyes for the lost romance between two of her best friends.

"He wouldn't have gone if you'd told him," Willow said.  She almost immediately kicked herself for saying that.  She expected Buffy to tell her off for being so blunt, but Buffy just smiled a little.

"I'm not big into the emotional blackmail," Buffy said.

Willow nodded, mentally telling herself to think before speaking.

"I get it," Willow whispered.

Buffy smiled a tired but sardonic smile.  "Can you explain it to me than?  Cos I don't think I understand."

"He's coming back though," Willow said.

"Because I'll die if he doesn't," Buffy reminded her.  "I wanted him to come back because he wanted to, not cos he was forced.  I wanted him to come back and see that I was finally back to normal."

Willow squeezed Buffy's hand tightly, Willow's knuckles going white at the force of her grip.

"He'd be so proud of you.  He always has been," she said.

"I know," Buffy whispered, her eyes closing tiredly.  She tried to open the, but Willow put a gentle hand over her eyes.  

"Sleep okay.  You need to rest."

Buffy nodded and let herself drift back into oblivion, a weight lifted from her chest.  She was glad that the truth about her feelings had finally come out.  And as she slept, all she could see in her dreams was the night that had condemned her to this painful withdrawal from her Watcher.


	11. Dreams

CHAPTER ELEVEN: DREAMS

(Dream is in _italics_.  Set just before 'Checkpoint'.  This is more a flashback than a dream if you want to be technical.)

_Training began as usual, warm-ups followed by a light sparring session between the Watcher and Slayer.  Riley had been gone for two weeks now, and part of Buffy was glad that he was gone.  The other part of her missed having someone beside her with an ache she hadn't felt since Angel had left._

_It was a Saturday, late in the afternoon.  Things were unusually quiet on the hellmouth, and after a research party that had been entirely unsuccessful in finding out anything on Glory, Giles had sent the Scoobies home.  Buffy had asked to stay and train, and Giles was more than happy to comply to her wishes.  _

_Buffy grinned as she managed to bring Giles to his knees._

_"Good," Giles commented, a smile on his face.  He was inordinately proud of his Slayer.  She had come so far in the last year, focusing on her training with an attentiveness he hadn't previously seen in the girl._

_Buffy helped him to stand, clasping his wrist and pulling him upwards.  He accepted the gesture and regained his footing on the mats in the training room.  _

_"Go again?" she asked._

_He nodded and they circled each other.  Buffy faked left and dove towards him with a swift left-hook.  Giles anticipated the move and caught her fist, using her momentum to swing her past him, making her lose balance.  She quickly regrouped and spun towards him in a round-house kick.  He ducked and quickly shot out a leg to bring her crashing to the floor.  She lay on her back, stunned and breathless.  With a laugh, she got up._

_"Nice move," she commented.  _

_He smiled his thanks and they began their dance again.  He moved to attack her, but she dodged each punch, catching several and letting others pass her by without touching her.  He saw her begin to duck into a flip and kicked towards her to prevent it.  In a tangle of limbs they both fell to the floor, Giles on top of his Slayer._

_Buffy giggled at Giles' shocked expression.  He couldn't quite work out how he had ended up on the floor with her.  He tried to move, but found he didn't particularly want to._

_He'd been having more and more inappropriate thoughts about his Slayer lately, especially now that Riley was out of the picture.  He was glad to see the commando go, and after he had heard about what Riley had been up to in his free time, he was definitely thrilled to hear that the boy wasn't coming back.  To try and demand so much from Buffy while her mother was so sick was plain wrong, and if Riley couldn't handle not being needed, he definitely shouldn't have become involved with the most independent woman that Giles had ever met._

_Their eyes met, both of their faces flushed, their breathing ragged.  The sexual overtones of this were not lost on either one of them.  Buffy went even more red.  This wasn't the first time she had had 'lusty wrong feelings' about her Watcher.  They had been there since when she was about seventeen and a half.  Even when she had been with Angel, she had been attracted to Giles.  She knew that nothing would ever happen there, so she had admired him from afar._

_Buffy swallowed hard, a gesture that wasn't lost on Giles.  The Watcher breathed in sharply and before he could think better of it, he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her gently._

_Buffy's mind went into overload for a moment before it just completely shut down, leaving Buffy thoughtless and breathless as her Watcher kissed her senseless.  _

_After endless seconds, they both pulled back as though by some unspoken agreement.  Giles finally realised exactly what he had just done and pulled away from her sharply.  He scooted back, making a space between them.  Buffy sat up and looked at him cautiously.  She swallowed nervously and turned away, unable to meet his eyes._

_"I'm sorry." Her voice was so soft that Giles wasn't sure that she had even spoken._

_"Sorry?  You s-shouldn't be the one to a-apologise," he said.  "I…you're just…upset over losing Riley and about Dawn and your mum.  I should be the one apologising.  I shouldn't be taking advantage of you like this."_

_Buffy smiled gently at him, thankful that he hadn't completely shot her down as she had expected him to do. _

_"You're not taking advantage Giles," she said._

_Giles dared a look at her and saw his Slayer looking at him with love written clearly in her eyes.  If this was a dream, he definitely didn't wish to wake up any time soon._

_"Are…are you saying that you…that you wanted to kiss me?" he asked nervously._

_She nodded sheepishly, hoping that her honest answer wouldn't make him lose all respect for her.  She loved him, even though she knew she wasn't supposed to.  She couldn't have explained it if anyone had asked, but she knew that the man in front of her was extremely special, not just to the world, but to her too._

_"Not to sound all slutty or whatever, but…I've kinda wanted to do that for a while," she confessed._

_Giles felt himself slowly going into shock.  His Slayer was telling him that she wanted to kiss him, that she had wanted to do so for quite some time.  _

_"So you uh…you wouldn't mind if I were to do so again, then?" he asked hesitantly._

_She smiled and bit her lower lip, shaking her head.  "Definitely don't mind."_

_He shifted forward on the mats, his sweaty palms sticking to the material of the training equipment, leaving a small hand print.  He hesitated a moment before lowering his lips to hers, looking deeply into her eyes for any sign of hesitance.  When he found none, he closed the gap between them, his lips meeting hers._

_She sighed happily and brought a hand to his back, gently tracing the muscular curves that were there.  The other hand came to his front, touching his stomach through one of his training shirts.  She shifted her position a little, and Giles took advantage of her movements to pull her towards him, shifting her so that she was on his lap.  _

_One of his hands went to her hair, tangling it gently in her golden locks, the other hand gently touching the skin of her back underneath her cropped top.  _

_Slowly, their clothes came off, hands taking in the newness of the bare skin, exploring leisurely.  Buffy had always imagined their first time to be either a frantic coupling of two desperate people, or a slow and sensual love-making.  She was somehow unsurprised that Giles managed to fulfil both fantasies by taking it to both extremes at times, and taking it through the middle ground as well._

_Whispered words of affection and love flowed between them throughout, the tenderness of the experience making it a completion of both their fantasies.  They lay tangled in each others arms for over an hour after they had finally stopped, though their hands and lips still explored slowly.  _

_"What do we tell the others?" she whispered._

_He smiled and kissed her neck, a place he had found to be particularly sensitive._

_"The truth."_

_She smiled, liking his answer.  She hadn't wanted their relationship to be secretive, like the relationship she had had with Angel so many years ago._

_The phone rang, startling them both.  Reluctantly, Giles stood up and pulled on his sweats and t-shirt quickly, not feeling comfortable about walking into the front portion of the shop naked, just in case anyone decided to do some late afternoon window shopping._

_"Magic Box," he greeted._

_"Rupert," came a British voice.  "Travers here."_

_Giles nearly groaned aloud, but held it in.  He had only just got back from England three days ago.  He hadn't wanted to hear from Travers so soon._

_"Quentin," Giles greeted._

_"We have some information that you might be interested in hearing," Travers stated._

_"Oh?"_

_"About this Glory character."_

_"Yes?"_

_"It's not something that we can simply say over the phone Rupert," Travers said, a small laugh in his voice._

_Giles swallowed hard, knowing what was coming next._

_"We'll be in Sunnydale tomorrow evening."_

_"Is that really necessary?"_

_"I think you'll understand when you hear what we have to say," Travers assured him._

_Giles closed her eyes, wondering why the Council would wish to visit Sunnydale.  Why now, when he had finally got the one thing he had desperately wanted since just before he had been fired?  Buffy, in his life in a capacity that he had always thought would never happen._

_"Alright then," Giles agreed._

_"Good man," Travers stated.  "I'm looking forward to seeing your Slayer again Rupert.  It's too bad that she was becoming like a daughter figure to you.  You were a good Watcher."_

_"I still am a good Watcher," Giles replied tersely.  He felt like laughing at the reminder of the father's love that he was supposed to have for Buffy.  He was, in no way, like a father to her.  And if he was, then his Slayer truly needed psychiatric help. _

_"Be that as it may, Rupert, you were too close to her.  Mr Wyndham-Price was convinced that the two of you had a romantic relationship," Travers said._

_Giles swallowed hard and fought to keep his voice from showing that Mr Wyndham-Price wouldn't have been too far off._

_"Why would he presume that?" Giles asked._

_"Oh, who knows what goes through his head.  I just told him that if it were true, you would have been shipped back here in seconds flat," Travers said._

_Giles suddenly understood the implications of this conversation.  Travers wasn't saying this to show how stupid Wesley had been, he was saying it to show that the Council was still in charge.  If Travers came to Sunnydale and found Buffy and Giles in a romantic entanglement, they would be separated.  And that separation right now could possibly kill his Slayer because she would no longer have access to the resources that Giles could get hold of._

_"Well, as much as the Council wanted me out of her life, I'm afraid that you would be wrong on that account."_

_"Good to hear," Travers said._

_Giles scowled, thankful that Travers was on the other side of the globe.  That is, until he remembered that Travers was coming to Sunnydale the next day._

_"Well, we'll be seeing you tomorrow," Travers finally said.  The older Watcher hung up before Giles could even give a parting farewell._

_"Yes.  Tomorrow," Giles said quietly, hanging up the phone._

_He walked back into the training room, surprised that such a wonderful evening had turned into something so devastating.  Buffy was dressed once more and sitting curled up on the couch on the other side of the room.  He approached slowly and saw her chewing on her thumbnail.  She looked up at him and stood.  He could see tears in her eyes, and he knew that she had caught at least part, if not all, of the conversation he had just had._

_She gave him a small smile that he managed to return._

_"This can't happen again, can it?" she asked sadly._

_Giles shook his head, fearing his voice would shake were he to try and use it._

_Buffy just nodded and stepped forward and embraced him, letting herself enjoy the feel of his arms around her.  He sighed softly and kissed the top of her head._

_"I wish things could be different," he whispered._

_She smiled into his chest and burrowed herself deeper, the two of them swaying to music that they couldn't hear._

_"Me too."_

_"The age difference for one," he said, a self-deprecating smile on his face._

_"You're hardly decrepit Giles.  You're in good shape," she complimented._

_"You're just saying that," he teased._

_She poked his ribs, making him jump slightly.  They still kept their arms around each other._

_"You can keep up with me, so you're doing pretty well there," she said seriously._

_He smiled and let himself take comfort in her arms.  He sighed and gently brought one hand to her chin, tilting it up.  He kissed her again, not letting them get carried away, even though he desperately wanted to.  He knew, however, that if they made love again, they would never be able to stop._

_He ended the kiss and stepped back, trying to ignore the single tear that fell from his Slayer's face._

_"I don't wish for this to affect us," he whispered._

_She grinned a little and wiped away the errant tear._

_"We'll be fine," she said confidently.  She paused to consider something, frowning slightly.  "I guess this means we aren't breaking this to the group."_

_He shook his head sadly.  He had so wanted to tell the others, to begin a relationship with Buffy.  But the Council had once again ruined things between them._

_"So…training tomorrow?" she asked._

_He managed a small grin at her and nodded._

_"We'll have to have a Scooby meeting come tomorrow as well," he said._

_"I'll rally the troops," she offered._

_He nodded and took one more glance at her.  Sucking in a deep breath he finally turned, and gestured for her to head out of the store with him.  She nodded and left with him, wondering how she could continue on day by day without being completely obvious about her love for him now that she knew exactly what they could have between them.  She didn't know how she would manage, but she knew it would be interesting trying._


	12. Library

CHAPTER TWELVE: LIBRARY

Giles drove towards the Council compound, worry lines stretching across his forehead.  He had tried calling Buffy six times, but there hadn't been any answer.  He had finally given up and assumed that the Council had tampered with his phone lines to not allow any phone calls to Buffy's house to go through.  He drove past the gates towards the parking area and automatically knew that something was happening that he wasn't supposed to know about.

Two members of Council pointed towards his car and the younger of the two raced into the building, presumably to tell someone that Giles had arrived.  He swallowed nervously, wondering why the Council would be so desperate to keep him away.  Keeping him away from his Slayer was technically murder, and knowing that the Council was willing to let Buffy die just because they did not agree with her way of being a Slayer was not enough reason to kill her.

Giles parked quickly and headed towards the building, hoping that he would be able to get inside without alerting the Council that he knew that there was something happening back in Sunnydale with his Slayer.  If he could 'play dumb' chances were that the Council might just let him have access to the library.

"Mr Giles," greeted a member of security.  There was a note of panic in the guards voice that Giles wouldn't have noticed if Ethan hadn't told him about the Council's duplicity.

"Good morning Charles," Giles said, trying to keep a smile on his face.  It was difficult to not just take out his anger on the first available person.

"What brings you to the Council proper?" 

"Oh, you know me," Giles replied vaguely.  "What man among us can pass up the opportunity to take advantage of the Council's library?"

Charles smiled tightly.

"Anything in particular that you're after?" he asked.

"Nothing specific.  Just some light reading," Giles replied.  "Something to keep me occupied in this dreary weather."

Sometimes, the English weather did have its advantages.  Charles gave him another tight-lipped smile and waved him into the building.

Giles breathed a sigh of relief and walked quickly towards the library.  He avoided making eye contact, pretending to be reading another of the Council's books that he had loaned the week before.  He made it to the book archives without anyone else interrupting him.  

The head librarian looked fairly panicked when Giles entered.

"Rupert," he greeted.  The man was almost breaking into a nervous sweat.  "What brings you here?"

"Oh, this and that," Giles replied.  "I came to return this to you.  And perhaps see if I can find something else of interest."

Years of training in secrecy did wonders for Giles' acting abilities.  Roger Sampson looked visibly relieved with Giles' answer, and Giles knew that he had just pulled off an award-winning act.  He handed the book to Roger, deliberately dropping it onto Roger's side of the counter.  He gave a quick apology and when Roger bent down, Giles quickly took off towards the section which housed the diaries.

With a quickness that he hadn't know he had, Giles located the two Slayer's journals that Ethan had told him about and moved out of the area towards a generic section on the mythology of dragons.  When Roger rounded the corner to see Giles scanning a book on the different sub-species of Norwegian Ridgebacks, Roger again sighed in relief.

Giles watched out of the corner of his eye and waited until Roger was out of sight.  He pulled out on of the two journals and flicked towards the back of the diaries.  

What he read in Leila Rado's journal sent chills down his spine.  If this was the sickness that Buffy had, then he knew from Leila's words that it was painful.

"_I miss him with every inch of my being, every part that makes up who I am.  I cry out at night, desperately craving his touch.  My body aches for his, but I cannot reach him…It has been nearly eight weeks and everything within me is screaming for him."_

Eight weeks.  He mentally did a quick calculation of how long he had been back in England.  Seven and a half weeks, eight on Saturday.  He shut the journal and opened up Sarah Jacob's diary.__

"_I may have a new Watcher in name, but Nicholas will always be my true Watcher."_

Giles closed the journal, and, sneaking a look around the corner, showing Roger back at his counter, he quickly went back to where the diaries were kept and placed them back in their rightful positions.  He kept hold of the book he had been pretending to look at and walked towards the counter, giving the book over to Roger.

"Mind if I take this for the week?" he asked.

Roger looked at the book with confusion.  Giles kept back a grin, keeping his face purposefully innocent.

"Sure thing Rupert.  Won't be a problem," he replied.  "Business or pleasure?"

"Just pleasure I'm afraid," Giles replied.  "No dragons attacking us anytime soon as far as I know."

Roger smiled and quickly noted down the name of the book and who was taking it.

"We'll see you next week I assume," Roger said.

Giles just shrugged a little.  "Perhaps.  I'll be sure to return this soon."

Roger just nodded and let Giles leave without incident.  Giles, however, turned back to see Roger get on the phone and call whomever had told him to keep Rupert Giles out of the Slayer's diaries.  Little did Roger know, but he had failed miserably.

Within twenty minutes after returning home, he had a bag packed, his passport in his pocket, and he was on his way to the airport.  He was going home.

On his desk in the flat that he was leaving behind was a book on dragons and a simple note to whichever Council lackey they would send when they finally worked out that Giles had left England.

Without limit, always prepared.

- R.G.  Watcher.


	13. Reunion

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: REUNION

Giles was surprised that he had managed to get a flight to LA without any troubles.  The Council obviously hadn't given the airport any instructions about not letting him get on a flight.  So, with no interruptions, Giles landed in LAX several long hours later.  He hired a car and sped his way back to Sunnydale, his tired mind making him work harder to remember to stay on the right side of the road.

He pulled up in front of the Summers house, the windows all blackened.  For a frightening minute, he worried that he was too late, or that the Scoobies had taken her elsewhere, but the sudden flickering in the living room indicated that they were there, possibly watching television.

He knocked on the door and opened it, surprised to find it unlocked.  No one came rushing at him and he wasn't sure whether that was good or bad.  He crept inside and looked into the living room to see Willow and Tara curled up on the couch under a blanket with Dawn on the single chair, all three of them asleep.  He went to walk upstairs, but finally noticed a fourth figure in the living room with short dark hair.  He got a better look and his eyes went wide.  Cordelia Chase.

He swallowed hard and prayed to whatever Powers were out there that Angel was not here as well.

There were empty pizza boxes lying around with books open on the coffee table and the floor.  The scene was so achingly familiar that it made Giles heart ache with homesickness.  He realised that he was finally home, and he would be here to stay.

He looked into the kitchen, surprised to see it relatively clean.  With a sigh, he headed up the stairs and heard whispering coming from Buffy's room.  He recognised Xander's voice, but the other person who was whispering was a mystery to him.  He knocked on the door quietly.

"It's open," came Xander's quiet whispered.

Giles poked his head through the door, desperate to get a look at his Slayer, but instead, he had Anya throw herself into his arms.

"We're so glad you're back!" she cried.

Xander stepped forward to give the older man a manly hug as well.

"It's been crazy around here without you," Xander said.

Giles nodded and looked past Xander towards Buffy.  His heart caught in his throat as he caught sight of her.  He held back tears and approached her bed.  He saw Wesley sitting beside her, patting down the girls head with a wash cloth.  Wesley looked up and gave the older Watcher a faint smile.

"Good to see you back again Mr Giles," Wesley said.

Giles nodded and cast his glance around the room.  Wesley seemed to know what Giles was thinking.

"He didn't come Giles.  We didn't even tell him we were coming here.  Cordy and I thought it best to keep it to ourselves," Wesley said.

Giles nodded, smiling his thanks.  He knelt beside the bed and touched Buffy's forehead, surprised by the heat that was radiating from her.

"How is she?" he asked.

"Pretty out of it," Xander replied from behind him.  "She kinda comes in and out."

"Yes, she seems to alternate between being completely lucid and being in a trance like state.  Reciting the-"

"Council oaths," Giles finished.

Wesley nodded.  "You've done you're homework."

"A friend told me that she was dying," Giles said.

Wesley nodded sadly and cast another look to the young woman he had been tending to for the last two days.  

"I'm not certain how this works," Wesley admitted.  "She seems…calmer when I'm in the room.  I must admit I almost expected her to wake up and have the fever break when you walked through the door."

Giles shook his head and let his eyes drink in the sight of Buffy.  Even sick as she was, he still thought her to be the loveliest creature he had ever seen.  

Behind him, Xander and Anya quickly decided that they could leave and get some rest.  Now that Giles was there, they knew that the Slayer would be fine.  That's how things always worked.  With a quick goodbye, the two Scoobies left the two Watchers with the still sleeping Slayer.

After a few minutes of silence, Wesley cleared his throat, making Giles look up.  He had almost forgotten that Wesley was in the room.

"I uh…I feel I have to tell you that…the uh, group…they know what happened between you and Buffy," Wesley said.

Giles' eyes went wide.  He hadn't been expecting that.

"Did Buffy tell them?" he asked.

Wesley shook his head.  "They found some previous Slayer's diaries, girls who had had this illness when their Watchers, their husbands had died.  They worked out that even though the two of you weren't married, that you had slept together.  And, Buffy explained it to Willow in one of her quieter moments."

Giles frowned.  "If I'd known that this would happen I'd never have left."

It was Wesley's turn to frown.  "Why did you leave?"

Giles looked up at the younger man sharply, surprised to see accusation written in Wesley's eyes.  Sometime after Graduation, Wesley had grown a spine.  And, even though Giles was on the receiving end of Wes's anger, he was honestly glad to see that the man was no longer a simpering excuse for a Watcher.

"I had to.  She was relying on me too heavily."

"And the fact that she'd just been ripped out of heaven and was trying to adjust escaped your notice?" Wesley asked.

Giles glared at Wesley, annoyed that the younger man was judging him without having all the facts.

"When you first came to Sunnydale, what were your first thoughts about Buffy?" Giles asked.

Wesley looked surprised at the sudden change of topic.  He thought back to his first few days.

"She was far too independent.  Insolent.  But she was a good Slayer.  I have always thought she was a good Slayer," Wesley answered honestly.

Giles nodded.  "She was the most independent woman I've ever met.  She had fire, and spark, and she loved life.  You didn't see her after she came back Wesley.  She was defeated.  She was letting me do everything for her.  She wasn't the Buffy that I knew."

"How could you expect her to be after what they did to her?  Angel told me that Willow performed the spell, and if that's true, then…her friends tore her from peace," Wesley said.

"It is true," Giles replied.  "And I knew that if I didn't leave, she would keep relying on me too much.  And, from what I've heard, she's been doing wonderfully since I left."

Wesley had to admit defeat there.  He had heard that Buffy had taken a job as a translator at her mom's old gallery and had been quickly promoted to junior curator there.  It was astounding really, and part of that quick turnaround in her life had been because of Giles leaving.

"She's in love with you, you know," Wesley said.

Giles looked away.  He had known that.  And, had Buffy had said that to him, he would have stayed.  But she didn't say anything, because she knew that he would have stayed for that reason.  Whilst Buffy may not have wanted him to leave, she wasn't going to blackmail him into staying.  He had to respect her for that.

"I know," Giles replied quietly.

"And that wasn't enough reason for you to stay?" Wesley asked.

"It was.  And she knew she could get me to stay.  But she wasn't ready for anything like that then.  I don't know if she is even now."

Wesley sighed.  He couldn't believe the idiocy of the older man in front of him.  He had the love of a young woman who would gladly lay down her life for him, and he was throwing it away.

"Did you leave just because of that?  Or did you go because you couldn't watch her and not have her?" Wesley asked.

Giles sighed.  Wesley's question was a fair one.  And the younger Watcher was partially correct.

"She pulled away whenever I went to touch her," Giles said sadly.  "I couldn't stay and have her not let me touch her."

"And I couldn't let you touch me and not have you," Buffy whispered from the bed.

Giles bent down, hugging her awkwardly.  

"How long have you been awake?" he asked.

"Not long," she answered.  She gave him a weak smile and reached for his hand, squeezing it gently.  "I missed you."

"I missed you too," he replied, tears in his eyes.

"Thank you for coming."

"As if I could ever stay away for long," he whispered.

She smiled and closed her eyes as he gently kissed her forehead.  Wesley silently left the room, leaving the Watcher and Slayer to their private reunion.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

She opened her eyes and gave him a tiny smile.

"Better now that you're here.  My head's clearer."

"Good, good," he whispered.

She closed her eyes tiredly.  

"So…how does it go away?" she asked.

Giles paused, really having no idea.

"The others will start working on it in the morning," he said, hoping that the others didn't mind him volunteering their services.

Buffy closed her eyes, about to drift off to sleep.

"Will you stay?" she asked.

"I'll get a mattress from the basement and sleep in the living room," he assured her.

She shook her head and shifted over in the bed.

"Just stay Giles.  They all know anyway."

Giles hesitated, wanting desperately to slip into her bed beside her, but unsure about it all the same.  He still wasn't sure whether the Council would try to stop his relationship with Buffy when they realised he was no longer in England, so he was reluctant to give her hope for a more intimate relationship.

His personal feelings finally one out in the end and he discarded his shoes and sweater, leaving his white t-shirt and slacks on, climbing in beside her.

She snuggled closer to him, and Giles wrapped his arms around her.  If he hadn't had thoughts to remain in Sunnydale permanently, having Buffy drifting off to sleep in his arms had certainly settled it, he was there to stay.


	14. Guardianship

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: GUARDIANSHIP

Morning came and when the Scoobies arrived to find Giles in Sunnydale and in Buffy's kitchen, there were hugs all around.  Giles hadn't realised how much he had missed the general bustle of the youngsters that surrounded him.  Dawn especially had been thrilled to see Buffy's Watcher back in the house.  

After breakfast, the group made their way back to the living room, looking through books to see if they could find out how to reverse the effects of what was happening to Buffy.  Surprisingly, it was Anya who had the answer.

"Couldn't you just swear the oaths again?" 

She had suggested that after two hours of solid research from the gang.  Giles had looked at her in surprise and wondered if Anya's seemingly simple answer could be the one that they were after.

Wesley looked up in deep thought.  He reached for Sarah Jacob's journal and flipped to the relevant pages.  He read them and nodded thoughtfully.  

"I think Anya's quite possibly right," he said.  He passed the journal to Giles who read it.

"_The voices have stopped.  I miss them, yet I am grateful at the same time.  I've been given a new Watcher, a female this time."_

"It does sound as though this girl was cured by being given another Watcher," Giles said.  "I don't understand why she's not better though.  There's no real reason for my first oaths to not still be binding.  Theoretically Wesley's should have holding over her as well."

Wesley too looked a little flummoxed.  "Perhaps the majicks of the breaking of the bond are too strong.  We've only really got one more day to be able to cure her.  And if Anya's theory is correct, then all you have to do is swear the oath again."

Giles shook his head.  "There's more to it than that.  You and I should still have had…guardianship of her."

Willow looked towards Giles who suddenly looked panicked.

"What is it Giles?" she asked quietly.

"I don't have guardianship of her," he whispered.  

The group looked at each other in confusion.  The only one who looked as though he had an idea of what Giles was talking about was Wesley.

"What's he mean by that?" Dawn whispered.

Giles looked towards Dawn.  "Do you remember the quest that Buffy went on just after your mother's passing?"

Dawn nodded slowly.

"I transferred my guardianship of her over to a spirit guide.  I assumed that when she returned to me that the spell would just reverse itself, but obviously there's another ritual that needs to take place to fully regain my position as her Watcher," Giles explained.  "Which means that even if I renew my vows as her Watcher, part of her will still be lost."

"So, can we do the ritual to give you guardianship?" Dawn asked.

Giles ignored the question and frantically flipped through one of the texts that had been on the coffee table.  He read through the writing quickly and looked up with a terrified look on his face.  "Damn."

The Scoobies all blanched when they heard Giles soft curse.  They knew that it couldn't be a good sign.

"What's wrong?" Xander asked eventually when no one else would disturb the silence.

"The completion of guardianship is a spell that Buffy herself must perform," Giles said.  "That's why the ritual wasn't complete after the visit to the desert."

"Is Buffy well enough to be doing such a spell?" Wesley asked.

Giles shook his head slowly.  "No.  She's no where near full strength, and this spell requires intense concentration.  Even if she could stay awake for longer than ten minutes, she would need to be in a deep trance that requires more concentration than she has right now."

The room went silent with worry.

"Isn't there some way to transfer strength from one person to another?" Tara asked.

"Isn't that kinda what we did with Adam?" Xander asked.

Giles looked thoughtful and nodded.  "It does sound like a good idea."

"An enjoining spell?" Wesley asked.  "That's incredibly dangerous.  The backlash from the spell could kill her."

"Unless you did the spells in a specific order," Willow said.  

The room turned to look at her, and she went bright red.  

"I'm just saying…you could perform the enjoining spell to give her more strength, get Buffy to complete the ritual, Giles could renew the Watcher's oath, and then you could break off the enjoiner," Willow explained.

Giles looked hesitant.  "That sounds as though we'd have to time everything down to the last microsecond."

"You would have to," Wesley replied.  "And it means that someone beside Mr Giles would have to be the person giving their strength.  You also have to keep in mind that Buffy's body is used to an inordinate amount of strength, so it would have to be someone who practically equalled her."

The group went silent, trying to think of a solution.  Tara was the first to speak up.

"Does the enjoining force have to be human?" she asked.

"If you mean Spike, I'm voting a big no," Xander said.

"You can't enjoin a Slayer and a Vampire anyway," Wesley said.  "The demon would end up infecting her, which is something that you wouldn't wish to see."

"Okay, so that's out," Willow said quietly.

"What about Angel?" Cordy suggested.  "He's got a soul."

"But he's still got the demon inside of him," Wesley explained.  "It's too risky, even though he does have his soul.  Plus, we couldn't be guaranteed that Angel himself wouldn't lose his soul if we did this spell."

"That's _definitely out," Willow said._

"Quite right," Wesley said.  He hesitated and then breathed in deeply.  "There's only one person that I can think of who has the strength that Buffy would need."

Giles tried to follow Wesley's train of thought.  He caught on quickly.  "No.  You know Buffy's thoughts on that."

"I do know her thoughts about that.  I know my own thoughts about it as well," Wesley replied.  "She tried to kill me.  Nearly bloody did.  But I do know that she wants to make things right with Buffy.  Angel told me that she was most worried about making things up to Buffy out of everyone."

Giles sighed and closed his eyes.  He could only pray that Buffy would forgive him for allowing this to happen.  

"Alright."

"You're talking about Faith aren't you?" Dawn asked.

Wesley and Giles nodded.  Dawn had to squash down her anger at the second Slayer who had very nearly killed Buffy and had almost got away with stealing Buffy's body so many years back.

"We still have the problem of Faith being in prison," Giles said.  "And, without the help from the Council, we won't be able to get her out anytime soon.  And this spell needs to be performed before tomorrow evening."

"C-c-could we do the spell in LA?" Tara asked.  "You wouldn't need to be in the same room, you'd just n-need to be within a one mile r-radius."

"We could do that.  It seems much simpler than bringing Faith here," Wesley said.

"And Faith doesn't have to perform the spell," Tara said.  "The enjoining spell can b-be performed by anyone, they just have to specify who they want to join together.  She j-just has to be willing to let her strength be drained for a few hours."

Giles and Wesley looked at each other and stood up simultaneously.

"Looks like we're going to LA," Xander said.  Giles stopped before he left the room.

"Wesley, Cordy and I are going to LA with Buffy.  You are all staying here in case anything hellmouth related comes up," Giles said.

The group went to protest, but they knew they wouldn't win against Giles.  They grudgingly agreed to stay.

"What about me?" Dawn asked.  "She's my sister."

Giles softened a little and nodded.  "Alright, you can come.  But, you must allow us to concentrate when we're doing the spells.  That means no interruptions, at all."

"I'll be quiet as a mouse, I swear," she promised.

"Alright then.  Dawn, if you could pack a bag for yourself and for Buffy, that would be greatly appreciated."

Dawn nodded and moved to do as asked.  

"Who's going to perform the enjoining spell?" Willow asked curiously.

"I'll perform the most of it.  When it comes time to recite my oaths, Wesley will take over the spell for me, until I can complete the vows.  When I finish, I'll pick the spell back up from Wesley and then break off the enjoining," Giles said.

"Are you sure you don't want me or Tara there just in case?" she asked.

Giles shook his head.  "You've come so far without your magick, Willow.  I won't have you jeopardise that."

Willow sighed and nodded, understanding why he wouldn't let her come.  "What about Tara?"

"Wesley and I will be able to handle it."

The group could only watch as Wesley, Cordy, Dawn and Giles who was carrying Buffy, headed for LA to cure their best friend.  All they could do was wait and quietly pray to the Powers that she would be alright.


	15. Faith

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: FAITH

Giles carried Buffy up to Wesley's apartment and laid her out on Wesley's bed.  She hadn't woken up for the entire trip to LA and Giles was beginning to worry even more about her.  Their window was slowly closing, and Giles knew that if they didn't hurry, they would lose her forever.  And it would be entirely his fault.

Cordy sat beside Buffy, a wet cloth in her hands, patting the Slayer's forehead even though the fever wouldn't break until Giles had completed all of the spells and rituals.  It was the only thing that Cordy could do however, and it made her feel more useful to do so.  Dawn was just sitting beside her sister, holding Buffy's hand.

"Only one of us should leave her, Giles," Wesley said.

Giles nodded, agreeing with Wesley.  Buffy seemed to be restless unless either he or Wesley was in the room with her, and having them both go to the prison to get Faith to agree to this wouldn't the best of ideas.

"Perhaps I should go," Giles said.  "There's not nearly as much bad blood between she and I."

Wesley looked vaguely relieved by the suggestion and agreed to it promptly.  

------------------------

"Perkins," a voice called from outside her cell.  "You got a visitor."

Faith looked up curiously.  She hadn't had a visitor since Angel had come to tell her about Buffy's death, and that had been over a year ago.  She couldn't imagine who it could possibly be, though she suspected it to be the same brooding vampire.  Why he would visit her now was a mystery to her though.

She walked into the visitors room and was completely taken aback to see Giles sitting at a table with his hands folded neatly ion top of the wood.  She hesitated before walking towards him and taking a seat opposite him.

"Giles.  What are you doing here?" she asked.

He gave her a tight smile and swallowed nervously.  If Faith didn't agree to this, he didn't know what they would do.

"We need your help," he said.

Faith looked at him curiously.  "With what?  I'm not much good to anyone in here."

"Actually, you don't even need to leave in order to help us," he said.  

"I don't get it," she said in confusion.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly.  "I'm not explaining myself very well.  Buffy's incredibly sick at the moment and-"

"Wait!  B's alive?!" she asked.

Giles eyes widened in shock.  He had assumed that the young woman had either never been told of Buffy's death or had been told that Buffy was indeed back.

"Yes, she…Willow and the others they…they brought her back," Giles explained.

"Shit," Faith breathed quietly.  "That's pretty heavy.  Angel never told me that she was back."

"I'm afraid it didn't really occur to us either," Giles said apologetically.  "We were rather…concerned by her return."

"Is she okay?" Faith asked.

Giles was shocked to hear genuine concern in Faith's voice.  Perhaps Wesley had been right about Faith wanting to make things alright between Buffy and herself.  And if that was the case, then chances were that Faith would agree to this enjoining spell.

"From the actual resurrection itself, she's alright.  Her…illness is something entirely different."

"Alright…so…you need my help," she said.  "What do I gotta do?"

"It's an enjoining spell," he explained.  "Basically, it lends someone your strength for a short amount of time."

"This sounds serious," Faith commented, worry stretched over her face.  "How bad is it?"

"Extremely.  As in, if we don't perform this spell in the next twenty-four hours, she could die.  Again," Giles said.

"Whatever I gotta do, I'll do it," she said.

Giles smiled.  "I was hoping you would say that."

"Has B agreed to this?" Faith asked suddenly.

His smiled suddenly vanished.  "She uh…she hasn't been conscious for the last few hours.  She has no idea of what we're planning to do."

"What exactly are you planning on doing here?" she asked.

"It's several spells actually," he explained.  "The enjoining one, to give Buffy the strength she needs.  She needs to complete a small ritual to restore my guardianship over her, and then I need to renew my Watcher's oaths to her."

"Shit," Faith said again.  "What's doing all this?"

Giles went a little bit red at the question.  "Uh, essentially, we broke the bond of Watcher and Slayer, first with a ritual transferring my guardianship, then when she passed away and again when I, uh…left."

Faith's eyes went wide.  "You left?!  How could you leave?"

"That seems to be the same question that everyone keeps asking me," Giles said.

"Yeah, cos we never thought you'd be dumb enough to go.  She's in love with you," Faith said angrily.

"And that seems to be the other thing that everyone keeps telling me," Giles quipped.

Faith glared at her former Watcher.  "Look, I'll do this spell on one condition."

"What's that?" he asked.

He expected her to say that she anted her parole date pushed forward, or that she was to be out of prison immediately.  Her answer shocked him.

"That you don't go back to merry old England unless you're taking her and D on a vacation," Faith said.

Giles smiled at that and nodded.  "Trust me, nothing could get me to leave again."

"You better not," she replied.  "So…what do I hafta do?"

"Basically, we need you to begin meditating half an hour after I leave," Giles explained.  "You probably won't feel anything for the first few minutes, but you'll know when it hits you.  Try to do it on the bed, because once the enjoining works, you'll fall into a deep sleep.  You'll only be able to wake when we cast off the spell."

"How long will it go for?" she asked.

"An hour, possibly two.  You'll feel drained when you wake up, but you're strength will return to you about ten minutes after you awaken," he explained.

Faith nodded and stood up.  "I suppose we should get cracking then," she said.

Giles too stood and gave her a smile.  "Thank you for doing this," he said.

Faith just nodded and gave him the tiniest of smiles.  "It's for B, right?  I got a lot to make up for where she's concerned.  Maybe I can start earning my forgiveness."

Giles just nodded and watched as Faith walked away.  

------------------------

He left the prison and went back to Wesley, surprised to see that the spell had already been set up by Cordy who was now making tea in the kitchen.

"Hey Giles.  How'd it go?" she asked.

"Surprisingly well," he replied.  He took the cup of tea that she was offering and sipped it, surprised to find that it wasn't entirely horrible as he had been expecting.  "She's agreed to help us."

"That's wonderful," Wesley said, coming out of the bedroom.

Giles looked up as he heard Wesley enter the room.

"Any change?" he asked.

"She was calling for you," Wesley replied sadly.  

Giles sighed and went into the bedroom, kneeling beside Buffy and stroking her forehead gently.  She nuzzled into his touch and sighed in contentment.  Dawn smiled as she saw the expression of love come over her sister's face.  It had been a long time since Buffy had looked like that.  Dawn could only hope that she saw that look on Buffy's face a lot more.

"We're going to make it better luv.  I promise," he whispered.  He bent over and kissed her forehead gently.  He went to move away, but after a second of hesitation, he bent down once more and placed his lips on her, kissing her gently.

He stood and picked his Slayer up, taking her into the living room.  He lay her on the couch and seated himself in the centre of the protective circle that Cordy had prepared.

"Let's do this," he said.

Wesley nodded and knelt outside the circle, ready to take over when necessary.  Cordy and Dawn lit the candles around the circle and Giles began chanting.


	16. Dreamscape

CHAPTER SIXTEEN: DREAMSCAPE

(Stuff in _italics is Buffy and Faith's combined dream, ala the one in Graduation Day II)_

Faith sat in her cell, clearing her mind of everything except her sister Slayer.  She couldn't believe that Buffy was actully alive.  When Angel had come tot tell Faith that Buffy had been killed over a year ago, Faith had been devastated.  She'd never got a chance to make things right with Buffy.  Faith could only hope that she would be given a chance to begin making things up to Buffy by doing this for her.

Faith felt her eyelids begin to droop, and before she knew it, she'd fallen backwards, her head hitting the pillow as she fell into a deep sleep and began to dream.

She heard a girlish giggle coming from behind her.  She turned quickly to see a smiling Buffy wearing a sundress.  They were standing in a field of daises, both of them wearing similar outfits with no shoes.

_"I like the look Faith," Buffy complimented, giving Faith the once over.  "I never thought I'd live to see the day where you wore a dress."_

_Faith couldn't help but grin at the carefree nature of her sister Slayer._

_"Hey B.  You know for a dying girl you're looking pretty good," Faith said._

_Buffy just smiled and held her hand out towards Faith.  "I'm not dying here.  This isn't the real world."_

_"Yeah, I kinda figured that," Faith said.  "There's no way I'd be caught dead in this."_

_"I dunno, you could try for a whole new look," Buffy said._

_Faith grinned and took Buffy's hand in hers.  She followed as Buffy led her towards a stream._

_"What is this place?" Faith asked._

_"What's it look like?" Buffy replied._

_Faith looked around them curiously.  It was peaceful, beautiful, serene._

_"Looks like some sorta paradise," Faith said._

_Buffy nodded.  "Yup.  Got it in one."_

_Faith looked towards Buffy with confusion.  "Why are we here?" _

_"So you understand," Buffy replied._

_Faith just shook her head._

_"What am I meant to understand?" she asked._

_"Do you want to come back here?" Buffy asked._

_"Yeah.  It's kind of a to-die-for place."_

_Buffy laughed at that.  _

_"That's true.  Cos, you gotta die to come here," she explained.  "This__ is what we fight for."_

_"This is heaven?" Faith asked, startled._

_"Well, not the actual heaven, cos…we're not dead.  But…this is how I remember it.  It's a hundred times better than this.  More crowded too."_

_"Memories?  You were in heaven?" Faith asked incredulously._

_"A warrior of light can't be sent into the darkness," Buffy replied._

_"But…why did they bring you back?" Faith asked._

_Buffy sat down amongst the flowers and dipped her feet into the stream that ran past them.  Faith knelt beside her._

_"My second chance.  I didn't realise it at first."_

_"You were pissed, huh?" _

_Buffy grinned.  "Something like that."_

_Faith smiled and dipped her toes in the water, surprised to find that the water was warm.  Her face must have shown her shock because Buffy smiled at her._

_"Everything's warm here," she explained.  "There's no anger, no hate.  Just peace."_

_"Sounds nice," Faith said wistfully._

_"It is.  But I've got a while longer until I go back there."_

_Faith looked around her and felt tears well in her eyes.  "I don't deserve to be here B."_

_"Yes you do," Buffy replied simply._

_"I killed people.  I tried to steal your life," Faith said._

_"And you feel remorse for it," Buffy said.  "You wronged others, and you feel pain and guilt.  And you're earning your redemption."_

_"How can I earn redemption when all I do is sit on my ass all day in a cell?" Faith asked._

_"That's the way to your redemption.  You faced your punishment without being pushed to it by any of us.  You turned yourself in.  You're walking the hardest path that anyone can walk and you're succeeding in righting your wrongs," Buffy said._

_"But how can you forgive me for what I did to you?" Faith asked._

_Buffy took hold of Faith's hand and made the younger Slayer look her in the eyes before replying._

_"I forgave my friends when they destroyed my life.  How can I not forgive my sister for doing only a tenth of what they did?" she asked._

_Faith felt tears slip from her eyes.  _

_"I forgive you Faith," Buffy whispered.  She leant forward and kissed Faith's forehead gently as she had done in the hospital when Faith had still been comatose.  "Will you forgive me?"_

_"For what?" Faith asked incredulously._

_"For not trying harder.  For not giving you another chance when you asked for it.  You're my sister, not by blood, but by our Calling.  We're Slayers, girlfriend, the Chosen Two," Buffy said, mimicking Faith's voice as she quoted the other girl.  "You came to me and asked for a leg up.  Not only did I refuse to give it to you, but I tried to take away your ladder altogether.  And I'm sorry."_

_Faith was completely speechless as she listened to Buffy apologising.  She'd never blamed Buffy for her anger, it had been well-deserved.  But to have her apologise made Faith's heart almost break._

_"Forgive me?" Buffy asked._

_Faith nodded.  "Yeah B.  I forgive you."_

_Buffy smiled and lay back in the grass._

_"Well, now that that's done, I guess we should get on with what we're here for," Buffy said._

_"Which is?" Faith asked._

_"You lending me your strength," Buffy reminded her._

_"Oh right.  So, how does that work?"_

_Buffy looked towards her sister and gave a grin.  "Lie down."_

_Faith hesitated but did as asked.  _

_"Now, close your eyes."_

_"If you try anything kinky, dream or not, I'm gonna kick your ass," Faith warned, a grin on her face._

_"This is my dream, not yours," Buffy teased._

_Faith's eyes flew open in shock.  "When'd you get a sick sense of humour?" Faith asked incredulously._

_Buffy just winked and gently put her hand over Faith's eyes, her eyelids fluttering closed against Buffy's hands._

_"Think of nothing but your centre.  The place where you're balanced, where you're focused," Buffy instructed._

_Faith did as she was told.  Her first Watcher had taught her some meditation techniques, but nothing highly advanced.  Her eyes flew open as she found it, surprised at how strong the feeling was to be connected to the core of her being.  All she saw was the darkness under Buffy's palm._

_"Close your eyes," Buffy whispered against her ear.  Faith did so and concentrated on the spot inside of her._

_Faith's breathing evened out and she felt such a sense of peace, of completion.  She'd never felt that since she'd become the Slayer.  It had always been a rush, but this was complete calmness._

_"I want you to take your centre, and begin pushing it outwards," Buffy said quietly._

_Faith wanted to hold on to it, not wanting to let this sudden feeling go.  But she remembered Giles' words to her about Buffy's life being on the line if the spell wasn't completed.  She pushed with everything within her to move the centre of her being._

_"You're doing great Faith," Buffy whispered encouragingly.  "Just a little further."_

_Faith pushed again and felt something ripple.  She could suddenly sense Buffy's presence within the spot she was pushing.  It was such a strong sensation that came from enjoining with the Slayer that Faith almost wept at it.  She had thought the earlier peace had been awe-inspiring.  It paled in comparison to what she felt now._

_"Can you feel me in there?" Buffy asked._

_"You're strong," Faith whispered.  "Stronger than I am."_

_"No.  We complement each other.  Can you feel it?" Buffy asked._

_Faith concentrated again and saw that Buffy had been telling the truth.  She nodded against Buffy's palm and could have sworn that she felt Buffy smile even though she couldn't see._

_"We're joined together, the Slayer finally whole once more," Buffy said._

_"It was never meant to be separated," Faith whispered, not knowing how she knew that.  The words just seemed to tumble from he mouth._

_"No.  You could feel it when you were fighting beside me though, couldn't you?" Buffy asked._

_"Like I finally belonged," Faith whispered, remembering how she had always felt beside the other Slayer._

_"It drew us together but it pushed us apart as well," Buffy whispered.  "There is light and dark within every Slayer, and your half had more darkness within it.  That's why you pushed me away."_

Faith could feel Buffy beginning to draw on the strength. 

_"Can I borrow your strength?" Buffy asked._

_"I wouldn't be here otherwise," Faith replied._

_"Just double-checking," Buffy said with a grin._

_Faith could feel something being pulled away from her.  She could still feel the Slayer within her, could still feel the peace at finally feeling whole.  She didn't feel mentally weaker, just physically.  And for the first time, she truly didn't mind being weak._

_"I have to go for a few minutes," Buffy whispered quietly.  "I'll come back though.  You stay here.  Just rest."_

_Faith nodded and felt Buffy remove her hand from her face.  She didn't open her eyes._

------------------------

Buffy opened her eyes with a gasp.  She felt stronger, her mind nearly completely free from the voice that was whispering Latin words to her.  Buffy watched as Wesley stepped into the protective circle and picked up the spell.  Giles stepped out of the circle and gave his Slayer a smile.

"How do you feel?" he asked gently.

 "Better.  I want this done," she said.

Giles nodded understandingly and held out his hand.  

"Do you want me to walk you through the spell?" he asked.

She shook her head.  "I already know," she said.

He nodded, not questioning her, just trusting her.  Buffy stood and took hold of her Watcher's hand.  She led him away from the circle and knelt in front of him, Giles kneeling down as well.  She gave him a smile and took both of his hands with her own.

She forced herself into a quiet meditation, studiously ignoring the voice inside her head and pushing past it to where she found her centre as she had instructed Faith to do in the dreamscape.  She could feel the hole in the outer circle of her centre and knew that the hole was where her Watcher was supposed to fill.

With great concentration, she reached out towards Giles and found his centre with a little difficulty.  She could feel how strongly he felt about her, the conflict in his emotions.  She pulled his centre towards hers and felt something inside of her snap as her centre circle completed itself.  Giles too could feel their link join back up.

Buffy collapsed into his arms and with great care he carried her to the couch again, laying her down.  He knelt in front of her, gently stroking her hair.  

"I, Rupert Giles, do so swear by all the gods of light and goodness that I shall hereafter protect my charge, Elizabeth Summers, Slayer, Chosen One, Daughter of Sineya.  From this day forth, until my I breathe my final breath, I do give myself freely and without hesitation to serve and protect you from the darkness and evil," Giles recited.

He didn't know if he needed to recite he oaths again now that they had been restored as her guardian once more, but it felt right to do so.  He stepped back into the circle to finish the enjoining spell, and Wesley stepped out, hurrying to check on Buffy.

She seemed to be sleeping peacefully, and Wesley could only hope that she was finally having better dreams

------------------------

"Miss me?" Buffy asked as she found herself back beside faith in the field.

_Faith opened her eyes and smiled at the other Slayer._

_"I could still feel you," Faith said.  She held her hand over her own heart.  "Here."_

_"I've always been there Faith," Buffy said._

_Faith nodded.  "I've been too stubborn to see it."_

_"You didn't think you deserved it.  You do," Buffy assured her._

_Faith breathed in deeply and forced herself to sit up._

_"I'll probably need some convincing of that one B."_

_"We all need a little convincing sometimes," Buffy answered._

_"Do we gotta go?" Faith asked._

_Buffy just nodded sadly.  She too wished that they could just stay there in the sunshine.  _

_"We've still got destinies to live out.  Lives to save.  People to help," Buffy said._

_"You mean _you_ have people and lives to save," Faith corrected._

_"I said 'we' Faith.  Not me.  You're a Slayer.  Just like me.  And you'll be able to help people in your own way, in your own time.  Maybe now you'll find your peace," Buffy said._

_"And if I've already found it here?" Faith asked._

_"Then you're a step closer to finding your redemption," Buffy answered._

_"How much further to go?" _

_"Only another step," Buffy replied.  "And you've got a lifetime to take it."_

_"Helping people?" Faith asked.  _

_"Understanding why you help people," Buffy corrected._

_Faith looked at her with confusion._

_"I don't get it."_

_"What's your reason for slaying?" Buffy asked._

_Faith hesitated.  What was her reason?_

_"I dunno.  I did it cos they told me I had to," Faith replied._

_"No one has to do anything they don't already want to do.  What you have to work out is if you're doing this for yourself or for others.  And when you're ready to answer that honestly to yourself, you'll understand what a Slayer really is," Buffy said._

_"You can't just give me the Cliff-notes version?" Faith quipped, only half-joking._

_"I'll tell you one thing about Slayers.  Our motto shouldn't be 'Want, Take, Have'.  It's 'Save, Give, Help.'  And when you understand that, then you'll work out why we do what we do," Buffy said._

_"Why do you do it?" Faith asked.  "What was your reason?"_

_Buffy just smiled.  "My family."_

_"I don't have a family," Faith said sadly._

_Buffy laughed at that.  "Then you're not looking hard enough."_

_"Explain it then," Faith demanded._

_"We're sisters Faith.  Family.  Our Watchers are our Partners.  Our friends are our brothers, our sisters," Buffy explained._

_"What if we suck at making friends?" Faith asked._

_"Then we try harder," Buffy replied simply._

_Faith sighed and nodded.  It did make sense._

_"And if we tried to kill our Watchers?" Faith asked._

_"Then you ask for forgiveness.  And you ask them to take you back.  And you let them begin to trust you on their own time.  And you let them into your life.  And you especially don't try and kill them again."_

_Faith laughed at that._

_"Check.  No killing Wes," Faith said._

_"It'll take time," Buffy warned.  _

_Faith nodded and a smile appeared on her face.  "I've made my peace with you B.  The rest is just details."_

_Buffy smiled and stood up, holding her hand out to Faith._

_"Are you ready to go back?" _

_"Ready or not, here I come," Faith said with a smile.  Buffy grinned and lifted Faith to her feet._

_"Thank you for helping me," Buffy said._

_"Thank you for letting me."_

_Buffy smiled and stepped forward, kissing Faith's cheek.  "Time to go."_

_"Bye B."_

_"Later Faith."_

_With that, Buffy let go of Faith's hand, and the field of daises disappeared._

(Hmmm…I didn't really set out for this chapter to be kinda B/F.  Dunno how the hell that happened!!  Yeesh.  Don't worry B/G fans, this is strictly B/G goodness!)


	17. Better

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: BETTER

Giles sat with Buffy's head in his lap.  He had gently sat her up so he could sit with her like that, gently stroking her hair.  He saw her begin to stir and looked to Wesley. 

Wesley nodded and headed towards the kitchen, pouring a cup of tea for the girl.  She hadn't eaten in nearly three days, and she needed something in her stomach.

Buffy opened her eyes groggily and tried to sit up.  

She was quickly hugged by Dawn, who launched herself at the still shaky girl.  Buffy smiled and hugged her sister back.

"You're okay," Dawn whispered.

"Yeah, I'm okay Dawnie," Buffy assured her.  "No more Latin for me."

Dawn smiled and let her sister go.  Giles helped Buffy into a sitting position and watched as she took in her surroundings with confusion.  She looked towards her Watcher.

"Uh…where are we?" she asked.

"My apartment," Wesley answered, coming back into the room with a cup of tea for the Slayer.  He handed it to her and she smiled at him gratefully.

"Uh huh…why are we in Wes's apartment?" she asked.  She looked towards Wes and grinned.  "It's a nice place by the way."

"Thank you," he replied.

"We needed you to be in LA," Giles explained.

"I'll take your word for it," Buffy said.  She curled herself into a ball tiredly and rested her head on Giles' shoulder. 

Wesley handed his cordless phone to Buffy.

"You should probably phone your friends.  They're been somewhat worried about you for the last few days," Wesley said.

Buffy smiled and took the phone from him.  "Poor guys.  I probably scared them half to death, huh?"

"I think that's an understatement," Cordy said from her position on the couch.

Buffy looked towards the other girl, not having noticed that she was in the room.

"Hey Cordy," she greeted.  "I vaguely recall thinking that I owed you a thank-you for something."

Cordy grinned at the vagueness of the Slayer.

"Well, you're welcome," Cordy replied.  

"How did you guys know what was going on anyway?" Buffy asked to Wesley and Cordy.

Cordy put her hand up.  "That would be cos of me," she admitted.

"You had a vision about _me_?" Buffy asked.

Cordy nodded.  "Yup.  It wasn't fun I'll tell you that."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said sincerely.

"Not your fault," Cordy replied.  "The Powers were sending a warning.  And it's a good thing they did.  Another day and we woulda been too late."

Buffy almost couldn't believe how much Cordy had changed since High School.  It was a change for the better, that much was for sure.  She seemed compassionate, almost bordering on sympathetic.  Then again, no one could see the things that Cordy had seen and not change.

"We're just lucky that Faith agreed to help with the spell," Wesley said.

Buffy nodded thoughtfully.  

"I'd like to see her.  I mean, properly this time," Buffy said.  

"Properly?" Giles asked.

"The enjoining spell.  It kinda joined us through a dream.  We…we finally made our peace with each other.  I still want to see her though," Buffy explained.

Giles nodded.  "We can arrange that if you'd like."

"I'd like," Buffy said.

Giles breathed in deeply and mentally prepared himself for the question he couldn't believe he was about to ask.

"You could go and visit Angel if you wanted to," Giles said.

Buffy hesitated.  There really wasn't any need to see him.  They had said all that had needed to be said when they had met after she had been brought back.  They had realised that they were two people who had loved each other deeply who couldn't go back to what had been.  Buffy had had enough problems in her life without having to deal with Angel as well at the time.  She didn't really _need_ him in her life anymore, and that had surprised her.

"I think he might be offended if I didn't at least say hi," Buffy said.  "Plus, I really wanna see you're new office."

Giles felt relieved that she had seemed reluctant about seeing Angel.  He was glad that the girl was finally over the brooding vampire, and that he and Buffy could finally pursue the relationship that they had wanted to have since before Buffy's twentieth birthday.  It had been over a year and half since they had been together, and Giles was aching to hold her again.

Buffy stood up and looked towards Wes.  "Don't suppose I could borrow your shower for a few minutes?" she asked.  "I'm kinda feeling…well, the word gross comes to mind."

"I wasn't gonna mention it if you weren't going to," Dawn teased.

Buffy just smiled tiredly and ran her hand through her younger sister's hair.  

Wesley chuckled and pointed down the hallway.  "First door on the left.  There's a spare towel already in there."

"Thanks."

She stood shakily, Giles helping her as she walked.  

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked quietly and they got to the door to the bathroom.

"I'll be okay," she replied.

"Maybe you should take a bath, rather than a shower," he suggested.  "Just in case."

She quickly looked down the hall and saw that they were out of earshot.

"You could join me," she whispered cheekily.  "Just in case."

He flushed bright red.  "B-Buffy."

She smiled and stood on her toes to lean up to him.  She kissed him gently and sighed with contentment as she pulled back.

"I've been wanting to do that for months," she said.

"I know the feeling," he replied.

"And we can right?  I mean…you are staying?" she asked.  She was almost afraid of his answer.

His answer was to bend down and kiss her again.

"I'm not going back to England," he assured her.  "Not unless you're at my side."

She smiled gratefully and hugged him around his waist, leaning against him heavily.  She went to pull away and felt her knees buckle a little.  Giles was quick to catch her.

"My stalwart, standing fast," she said.

He looked at her surprised.  He had assumed she hadn't heard a single word of what he had sung to her two months earlier.  She gave him a smile and reluctantly took herself from his embrace.  She turned and walked into the bathroom.

He went to walk away but her soft whisper stopped him.

"I wasn't joking about you joining me."

He whirled around to see her grinning at him.  He just smiled back and shook his head.  

"When we're at home."

Home.  She liked the sound of that.  She had known that her life had been good only three days ago.  But now, Giles was back and they were together.  He wasn't leaving, and she was finally standing on her own two feet.  Life had been good. 

But now, life was better.

END

(awww!  Feedback is always good!!)


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